My patient sounded bewildered. “It was like I was watching myself going through the motions – repeating the same old pattern.” He’d just broken up for the umpteenth time with a woman he’d been dating for over a year. “It’s always the same thing. I do something nice for her. Then she tries to do [...]
Archive for February, 2010
Walking in circles
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged circles, deja vu, Freud, learned behavior, observing ego, Pavlov, Pavlov's dogs, repetition compulsion on February 28, 2010 | 1 Comment »
Fighting back from a bad review
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged anger, balanced review, depression, emotional insulation, management, managers, review, self-punitive behavior, suicidal thoughts, Sullivan & Cromwell on February 24, 2010 | 34 Comments »
My patient, a senior associate doing IP litigation at a downtown firm, brought me the bad news. “I got a terrible review last week.” She seemed calm about it, considering. That’s because she knows how law firms work. “I’m expensive, and they’re preparing for lay-offs. So they told me I’m terrible. It was ridiculous. They [...]
Gay is good, especially for children.
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged adaptation, adoption, evolution, extinction, gay adoption, gay adoption in Florida, gays, lesbian, LGBT, pair-bond, raising children, same-sex couples on February 20, 2010 | 5 Comments »
When gay people come out of the closet, they usually run into some variation of the “but that’s unnatural” argument. This is the apparently sensible claim that it doesn’t make sense to be gay. Isn’t sex for procreation? Why would two males or two females become romantically involved if they can’t have a child together? [...]
When the emptiness swallows you whole
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged AboveTheLaw.com, Gil Cornblum, insider trading, Suicide, Sullivan & Cromwell, Toronto on February 16, 2010 | 33 Comments »
Last October, a law school placement director friend of mine forwarded me an email with a juicy piece of big law gossip. A former associate at Sullivan & Cromwell had offed himself. He was 39. The body was discovered beneath a highway bridge in Toronto. A few days earlier, it was revealed that since the [...]
A laugh. A sneeze. An orgasm.
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged comedians, laughter, orgasm, relaxation, sex, sneeze, trained response on February 14, 2010 | 5 Comments »
The orgasm has been compared to a sneeze – they’re both involuntary muscle spasms. I think I can draw a more useful parallel: a laugh. Laughing is certainly more fun than sneezing, and there’s another useful similarity – they’re both about relaxing, and letting yourself have fun. Most of my patients who have trouble attaining [...]
I do it all for you, my fans
Posted in About This Site, AboveTheLaw series, Thoughts and Musings, tagged Facebook, Fan, fan page on February 14, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
The People’s Therapist now has fans. Literally. I’ve created a “fan page” on Facebook. To become a “fan” please go to my Facebook “fan page” and click “become a fan.” Voila! You will subsequently become eligible for all the rights and privileges that befit a loyal fan of The People’s Therapist. Mostly, that means I [...]
The bearded woman
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged ambassador, beard, bearded woman, divorce, divorce rate, Dubai, marriage, veil on February 13, 2010 | 16 Comments »
Most of the Western world seems to have had a good laugh this week at an unidentified Arab ambassador to Dubai. This gentleman rushed to annul his marriage contract and cancel his wedding after he finally got a look at his bride-to-be’s face and realized she was cross-eyed and had a beard. She’d worn a [...]
You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful.
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged Beauty, inner child, negative introjects, physical appearance on February 12, 2010 | 5 Comments »
The other day, I was listening to a patient explain to me why he was ugly and no one could possibly find him attractive. This was news to me, because so far as I could tell he was a very handsome guy – film star handsome. It was a puzzling case. Let’s talk about beauty [...]
The People’s Therapist stirs controversy, as is his wont
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, Current Events, tagged AboveTheLaw.com, Buzz, Facebook, Kashmir Hill, legal blog, People's Therapist, Sullivan & Cromwell, Twitter, white-shoe law firm on February 12, 2010 | 4 Comments »
The People’s Therapist displayed his legendary tact and discretion during a recent interview with the lovely and talented Kashmir Hill, Associate Editor of the esteemed yet tasty legal blog, AboveTheLaw.com. Despite my best efforts, tongues appear to be wagging regarding certain shocking revelations about The People’s Therapist’s previous incarnation as a high-powered Wall Street lawyer [...]
Why Scott Brown needs so much attention
Posted in Current Events, Intriguing Patients, tagged acting out, filibuster, healthcare, Judge Samuel Zoll, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, Scott Brown's daughters, shop-lifting, Tea Party, Ted Kennedy, Teddy Kennedy on February 11, 2010 | 1 Comment »
Children need a lot of attention. When they don’t get it, they’ll often act out – misbehave – in a desperate attempt to be paid attention to, even if the result is negative attention. I had a patient who used to vomit frequently as a child. It became an unpleasant regular event during family meals [...]
Scrooge McDuck explains everything
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged A Christmas Carol, Dickens, Freud, Scrooge, Scrooge McDuck on February 10, 2010 | 4 Comments »
Here’s further evidence that Sigmund Freud didn’t invent the concept of psychotherapy out of thin air: There was a precursor, and his name was Charles Dickens. Way back in 1843, thirteen years before Freud was born, Dickens wrote a book summing up the process of psychotherapy. The title of this scholarly tome? You’ve probably read [...]
Prince William and why your wife might be just like your mother
Posted in Current Events, Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged adaptation, Diana, Kate Middleton, marriage, narcissism, Prince William, Princess Diana on February 9, 2010 | 5 Comments »
The People’s Therapist was working out at the gym on the elliptical trainer the other day when he realized he’d come to the end of an issue of The New York Review of Books – his customary cardiovascular/literary fare. In desperation, I reached for whatever other reading material happened to be lying around, and discovered [...]
Not opposition. Alliance. Like when you first met.
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged alliance, couples counseling, first date, opposition, partnership on February 7, 2010 | 4 Comments »
The couple sitting in my office were clearly in no mood for social niceties. It was strictly down to business with these two. There seemed to be nothing they agreed on. She insisted he marry her as a sign of his seriousness. He wanted to wait until she stopped verbally attacking him. He hated her [...]
In memory of Christine Daniels
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged bi-sexual, Christine Daniels, cross-dresser, drag king, drag queen, gay, intersex, lesbian, LGBT, Los Angeles Times, Mike Penner, remembering our dead, sportswriter, trans, transgender, transgender day of remembrance, transsexual, transvestite on February 5, 2010 | 2 Comments »
Christine Daniels was a transsexual sportswriter. For many years, she was known to thousands of sports fans as a columnist for the Los Angeles Times, writing under the byline “Mike Penner.” Christine transitioned into a woman in April 2007 and began using her female name on her column. In late October 2008, she returned to [...]
And nip and tuck and nip and tuck
Posted in Current Events, Intriguing Patients, tagged addiction, breast augmentation, chin reduction, Heidi Montag-Pratt, lips collagen injections, Michael Jackson, nose job, plastic surgery, rhinoplasty on February 3, 2010 | 6 Comments »
The news has been full of reports of Heidi Montag-Pratt and her claim to have undergone 10 separate plastic surgery procedures in one day. That includes rhinoplasty (a nose job), breast augmentation, lip collagen injections, chin reduction, and god only knows what else. “I’m beyond obsessed,” is the frequently cited quote. It certainly sounds like [...]
You are one tough little kid
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged inner child, resilient children, Shin, surrogates on February 1, 2010 | 1 Comment »
Studies have been done of resilient children – kids who have faced down tough times and survived intact. They share one key finding: These kids locate surrogates – replacements – for what is otherwise missing in their lives. Whether it’s a teacher or a neighbor or an uncle or a grandparent – somehow, these scrappy [...]