I was proud to be a part of a special Memorial Day edition of “The Alternative” with Terry LeGrand this week. Once Terry got me started talking about all the reasons I hate the US military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy towards its lesbian and gay troops, he couldn’t get me to stop. It’s a [...]
Archive for May, 2010
Putting our troops in harm’s way
Posted in Current Events, Radio, tagged DADT, Don't Ask Don't Tell on May 31, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Mr. Right?
Posted in AskThePeople'sTherapistSeries, tagged abandonment, alliance, attraction, opposition, respect, solitude, trust on May 29, 2010 | 3 Comments »
Ashley sent in an intriguing question a few weeks ago, which I’ve been pondering… Here’s her question: I’ve been thinking about a question for you for awhile, one that might be “deserving” for your blog, but I keep coming back to the same one, so I’ll just go ahead and ask: how do you know [...]
If you don’t know, just say so.
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged child, death, gravity, Harvard, infinity, partner, relationship, religion, Stability, Stephen Jay Gould on May 24, 2010 | 3 Comments »
I am happy to admit I do not know what lies at the farthest reaches of outer space, I do not know what happens after I die, and I do not know how long my relationship with my partner will last. No one knows these things. They are unknowable. You might feel uncomfortable with these [...]
Exchanging vows
Posted in AskThePeople'sTherapistSeries, tagged commitment, marriage, relationship, relationships, vows on May 22, 2010 | 4 Comments »
This week’s question was a bit long, but it raised interesting issues, so I’ll print it in full: My boyfriend and I have decided to have a wedding. We’re not getting married in the legal sense, and in fact I share many of your views on civil marriage and lifelong commitment, but we like the [...]
Stooping to Conquer
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged business, communication skills, entrepreneur, negotiations, risk, sales on May 19, 2010 | 10 Comments »
It’s frustrating, trying to teach lawyers the fundamentals of doing business. Several of them arrive in my office each month, wanting advice on changing careers. But they haven’t got a clue. That’s because they still think success is making your parents happy. Lawyers start out as the kids who do everything right. They behave. They [...]
A heartbroken child.
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged emotional pain, heartbreak, inner child, parent on May 16, 2010 | 5 Comments »
My patient looked me in the eye. Tears poured down her cheeks. “It hurts so bad. Why does it have to hurt so bad?” I often sit in a room with another person in emotional agony. It’s part of my job. I sit. I listen. I don’t interrupt. I tolerate the feelings, and do my [...]
A difficult friend
Posted in AskThePeople'sTherapistSeries, tagged direct communication, enforcing boundaries on May 14, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
This week’s Ask The People’s Therapist question comes from Stephanie, who’s having problems dealing with her best friend: I don’t know what to do and I am pretty angry and annoyed with myself lately. I have basically enabled a close friend of mine by consistently giving in to her wants/desires and not setting up proper boundaries [...]
The Terrible Twos
Posted in AboveTheLaw series on May 12, 2010 | 26 Comments »
You pass through a stage when you’re about two years old – the famous “terrible twos.” It’s marked by stubborn refusals to obey orders, and sometimes downright tantrums. The infant is growing into a person. For the first time, he wants control over his own life. It’s called personal autonomy. You go where you want [...]
How to be Lady Gaga
Posted in Current Events, Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged Lady Gaga, Stefani Germanotta on May 10, 2010 | 3 Comments »
A young woman I worked with last week told me three thoughts that kept playing in her head like a tape: I’m not special. I’m not good at anything. It would be better if I were just dead. Listening to those voices took her down a familiar path to depression and self-destructive behavior. She admitted [...]
A breakup. A three year old. A phone.
Posted in AskThePeople'sTherapistSeries, tagged best interests of the child, divorce, infidelity, mistress, separation on May 8, 2010 | 2 Comments »
This week’s question comes from “S”. Here’s a lightly edited version: Is it reasonable for a Father to ask his 3 year old son to call him every day? Due to his Father having an affair that he wishes to explore and pursue, we’re separated. The Father says that he misses his son and then [...]
The Golden Trough
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Shearman & Sterling on May 5, 2010 | 7 Comments »
When I summered at Shearman & Sterling back in the late ’90s, the partners had just voted on whether to install a gym in the building or create a formal dining room. Needless to say, they went with the dining room. It was strictly lawyers-only. At the center stood a buffet fit for a cruise [...]
Gay patient…gay therapist?
Posted in Radio, tagged gay therapists, homophobia on May 4, 2010 | 2 Comments »
This week on The Alternative, with Terry LeGrand, I chatted with Terry about whether a gay person necessarily needs to choose a gay therapist. We got a good discussion going. Terry, like many gay men, said off the top of his head that he’d prefer a gay man to be his therapist (if he ever [...]
Naming names
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged borderline, diagnoses, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Dr. Funkenstein, DSM, Funkadelic, George Clinton, Hyman Spotnitz, Mozart, names, naming, Parliament, schizophrenic on May 3, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Maynard Solomon’s biography of Mozart quotes a delightful letter of 1778 from Mozart to his friend Gottfried von Jacquin: We all invented names for ourselves on the journey [to Prague]. Here they are. I am Punkitititi. My wife is Schable Pumfa. Hofer is Rozka-Pumpa. Stadler is Natchibinitschibi. My servant Joseph is Sagadarata. My dog Gauckerl [...]
Nature. Nurture. Gender.
Posted in AskThePeople'sTherapistSeries, tagged bisexual, gay, gender, gender expression, intersex, lesbian, nature, nurture, trans, transgender, transsexual on May 1, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
This week’s question come from Dwyn and Marissa: And here’s my answer: To submit a question to Ask The People’s Therapist, please email it as text or a video to: wmeyerhofer@aquietroom.com If I answer your question on the site, you’ll win a free session of psychotherapy with The People’s Therapist!
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