Remember Green Acres, that fish-out-of-water comedy wherein Eddie Albert drags Eva Gabor out to live on some tumbledown farm in the middle of nowhere? She’s a Park Avenue socialite, but he’s the husband and the penis-haver and it’s the 1960′s – so what he says, goes. If he’s jonesing for fresh air and farm living, [...]
Archive for the ‘AboveTheLaw series’ Category
Green Acres
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Crocodile Dundee, doc review, Eddie Albert, Eva Gabor, goat cheese, goats, Grizzly Adams, Hieronymus Bosch on May 23, 2012 | 19 Comments »
Evil Middle Management
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged 007, book of business, elevated, evil headquarters, go in-house, James Bond, Kool-Aid, making partner, partners, partnership, piranha, rabbi, senior associates, service partner, Sullivan & Cromwell on May 9, 2012 | 8 Comments »
When I launched The People’s Therapist, my intent was to get stuff off my chest – process a smidgen of psychic trauma. I’d write a column or two, exorcise the odd demon, piss off Sullivan & Cromwell and call it a day. It never occurred to me I’d be deluged with lawyers as clients. It [...]
Oversold
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Antonin Scalia, commercial outlines, Con Law, Fashion Police, first tier law school, fourth tier law school, international human rights law, John Roberts, law school, law school exams, Property Law, Socratic Method, study groups, Torts on April 25, 2012 | 30 Comments »
My client is finishing her 1L year. She’s bored. “I study. Then I study some more. Then I go to sleep. Then I get up and study again. It’s the same for everyone.” At least, I proposed, the subject matter was interesting. She demurred. “Yeah, I guess…but – really? I mean…Property law? Contracts? Torts?” Her [...]
The “It Gets Worse” Project
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged ACT-UP, AIDS, Dan Savage, Dream Act, It Gets Better, Lourdes, Michael Moore, New York Law School, Occupy Wall Street, Pilgrimage, Sullivan & Cromwell on March 28, 2012 | 89 Comments »
A visit to my office has evolved into something akin to the road to Lourdes. Pilgrims arrive red-eyed and defeated, faces etched with misery, searching for a way out of a trap. The standard story is some variant of the following: You are either out of work or loathe your work. You have $180k in [...]
The Clerkship Archipelago
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Antonin Scalia, circuit court, Clarence Thomas, clerking, clerkship, Constitutional Amendment, district court, fly-over country, gay marriage, Helena Bonham Carter, Koch Industries, Sarah Palin, Skype, Supreme Court, T.G.I. Friday's, Yale on February 1, 2012 | 183 Comments »
It’s hard to conjure up bad stuff to say about clerking. It’s an honor, and an all-expense-paid ticket on an exclusive legal gravy train. If you’re lucky enough to clerk for a federal district or circuit court judge, you can rest assured you’re looking good and feeling good. You might even shoot the moon and [...]
Frying pan
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged associate satisfaction, associate satisfaction surveys, changing law firms, emergency childcare, headhunters, law school on January 18, 2012 | 23 Comments »
At some point you have to get out of here. The question is when – and whither. A vacation might help, if you could achieve the impossible and take one. My client pulled off a week – seven whole days! – at a Caribbean resort, only to return feeling like a condemned prisoner. “It made [...]
Take my advice
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Ann Landers, awareness, Blackberry, cardio exercise, condoms, Cosmo Magazine, Dear Abby, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Health and wellness, Id, Lexipro, physical exercise, Richard Simmons, sex therapy, Violent Femmes on January 4, 2012 | 10 Comments »
I’ve been talking to people – well, my people have been talking to people – about speaking engagements, radio shows, panels – celebrity stuff – the daily fodder of The People’s Therapist’s life of fame and glamour. One group wants me to teach a workshop for young attorneys on “health and wellness.” Well, okay. Whatever. [...]
Will’s Kids
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Bernie Madoff, Columbia Law School, compassion fatigue, Harvard, Jerry Lewis, Jerry Lewis Telethon, Jerry's Kids, Joseph P Shapiro, MDA, Muscular Dystrophy Association, No Pity, poster child, poster children on December 14, 2011 | 22 Comments »
It’s hard to generate sympathy for lawyers – especially when the group of people you’re milking for sympathy is other lawyers. At first glance, that seems counter-intuitive. I’m writing about your fellow attorneys, after all, and they’re in miserable straits. I feel sorry for them. I want to help. But then, I’m a bleeding heart [...]
Jungle Drums
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged candidate, conga line, dance the limbo, door-to-door salesman, exclusivity, Harvard, Harvard Law School, headhunters, legal job-hunting, legal search consultants, limbo pole, party, party animals, placements, real estate agent, S.O.L., shindig, silly horns, Sullivan & Cromwell, therapist, vacuum cleaner salesman, Yale Law School on November 30, 2011 | 12 Comments »
I received an offer recently that I couldn’t refuse – an invitation from “legal search consultants.” Headhunters! They were having a convention and asked if I wanted to drop by, and, you know, say hi. Vague images flitted through my mind – guys in suits dancing in a conga line wearing hats with silly horns. [...]
The Haves and The Have-nots
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged aptitude, begging, Caste system, Dalit, Gambia, Heidi Klum, hunger, intestinal parasites, job offer, Latvian, law jobs, law school, LSAT, maritime law, Oxfam, perma-debt, poverty, Riga, Shearman & Sterling, Sullivan & Cromwell, summer programs, Untouchables on November 9, 2011 | 80 Comments »
It’s mid-September. I’m talking with a client , a 3L at a top-tier school. “Here’s how it works,” she explains. “There’s the have’s and the have-nots. Either you have a job offer, or you don’t. If you don’t, it sucks. You feel like an illegal alien.” Unfortunately, she’s a have-not. Yes, she’s working to correct [...]
A Little White Lie
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Adolph Eichmann, billable hours, billables, churning, hours, litigation, settlement, Sullivan & Cromwell on November 2, 2011 | 42 Comments »
I tell the truth in these columns – at least, to the degree I find convenient or advisable. There is such a thing as a surfeit of veracity. My clients are lawyers, so god help me if I record something a little too candid with regard to their doings. Just talking about myself raises issues. [...]
The Dæmon Lover
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged biglaw, British accent, British guy, CLE Training, Hugh Grant, infatuation, romantic infatuation on October 26, 2011 | 20 Comments »
If it’s happened to you, keep reading. If it hasn’t, keep reading anyway. It happens a lot. It begins with the standard set-up. You feel trapped. Hate your life. Nerves shot. Self-esteem shredded. You know the drill: biglaw. That’s when the dæmon lover appears. It doesn’t end well. There’s biglaw hanky-panky and biglaw sexual harassment. [...]
The Other Half
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged Communist, couples counseling, Dickensian, doc review, ninety-nine percent, Occupy Wall Street, Warren Buffett on October 19, 2011 | 17 Comments »
As The People’s Therapist, my door is always open. I don’t turn away poor clients. “Pay whatever you can afford,” I tell them. Naturally, they get what they pay for. If I’m a little sleepy, or staring at the clock – who are they to complain? Come to think of it, why do we have [...]
Should You Tell Them?
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged 2L's, Evil & Evil, hiking, Iceland, interviews on October 12, 2011 | 42 Comments »
I was hiking in Iceland this past summer. We were pretty high up – around 1,000 meters – and it was raining hard, high wind, snow on the ground. “Damn, it’s cold,” grumbled one of my American companions. An Englishman behind us stumbled over a patch of frozen volcanic ash. “There’s a clue in the [...]
Straight Allies
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, tagged gay, LGBT, life-partner, non-lawyers, relationships on June 22, 2011 | 17 Comments »
LGBT people confront widespread hatred, yet each year take new strides towards equality. What’s the secret? “Straight allies” – a concept every lawyer needs to understand. As an LGBT person, you face a stark reality – there aren’t many of us. It might not seem like it, but we’re a tiny minority. And it’s a [...]