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Archive for the ‘AskThePeople'sTherapistSeries’ Category

I received the following letter regarding telling people things they don’t want to hear: Dear People’s Therapist I have been a fan of your blog for a long time, and thank you for running the blog!  I have the following question: My mother-in-law is obese.  My father-in-law just passed away a year ago from diabetes.  [...]

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I received the following letter from “S”: This is the situation: my boyfriend of three years is an overachiever. He attended the best schools and now works in NYC. He’s in finance, from his personal office he sees most of Central Park, and I love him very much. As for me, I am currently studying [...]

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I received the following letter regarding humankind’s on-going battle with its own impulses: Hi Will, I really enjoy reading your blog, you give great insight. I have often been told that I need to focus (I do not have ADHD or any other attention disorder).My problem or what others see as a problem is that [...]

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This month’s question for The People’s Therapist gets to the heart of how psychotherapy – “talk therapy” – actually works: Why is psychotherapy conducted exclusively face-to-face, rather than in writing?  I find that I express myself much more clearly and precisely in writing, after having had the chance to ruminate on my response — it’s [...]

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I received the following letter concerning the tricky business of maintaining a relationship: Dear Will, I’m a recent law school graduate studying for the bar exam. I just got into another argument with my boyfriend of four years, and I’m feeling frustrated and upset. Our relationship tends to break down when I’m going through a [...]

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I received a letter regarding trauma and grief: Can you explain the long term effects of psychological trauma? Four years ago I experienced two deaths in my family, sudden deaths by accident. I’ve never suffered from depression before the deaths of my kids, but truthfully just haven’t really bounced back as much as I’d have [...]

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An intriguing question from “A”: My boyfriend’s ex has gone through therapy one on one and in a group setting.  She now thinks she can diagnose and help anyone.  In her mind she is “helping” but in reality she is being intrusive, causing more problems, trying to find out secrets.  I see this as someone who is in [...]

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An interesting question that touches on some basic Freudian theory: I’ve been reading your blog for the past few months and I really enjoy it. I hope you can help with this problem that has completely stumped me. Eight years ago I left an abusive relationship.  In general things are much better now, I don’t [...]

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Here’s an interesting letter that arrived unsigned: I need help addressing a situation with a friend. About 8 years ago, her dad passed away suddenly, and she continues to miss and mourn her dad.  We’ve been friends for about 6 years and for as long as I’ve known her, she’s always been… down.  There are [...]

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“A” wrote in with the following question: I wanted to know your thoughts on the imbalance in power relationships at law firms. My boyfriend, J,works for a partner in a firm. They’ve worked together on and off for 5 years. The partner was an associate when J joined as a trainee. They’ve been ‘friends’ but [...]

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It turns out that A.M.’s question was a two-parter. Here’s part two: What strategies can you suggest for dealing with passive-aggression, in both the workplace and in intimate relationships? Is there an effective way to set boundaries with a person who is setting out to undermine them? How can you best maintain your integrity and [...]

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This week’s question is from A.M.: What strategies can you suggest for someone who is stuck when writing, say a thesis or a dissertation? Two people dear to me have essentially withdrawn from society, apparently unable to deal with the ego strain of finishing this last piece of the degree. Any thoughts? And here’s my [...]

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This week’s question comes from L, in New York City. She asks: Do you think that personality “flaws” (e.g. shyness, lack of confidence/self-esteem, being an approval-seeker) are entirely learned behaviors, or do you think that to some extent you are born with these characteristics?  In other words, what do you think about nature vs. nurture [...]

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This week’s question is from Laure, in Canada.  She writes: Thank you for blogging about the various issues raised during your therapy sessions, I find it most interesting to read and learn from! I particularly appreciate your insight on lawyer patients, as I I will soon be entering law school, and all of your comments on [...]

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Ashley sent in an intriguing question a few weeks ago, which I’ve been pondering… Here’s her question: I’ve been thinking about a question for you for awhile, one that might be “deserving” for your blog, but I keep coming back to the same one, so I’ll just go ahead and ask:  how do you know [...]

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This week’s question was a bit long, but it raised interesting issues, so I’ll print it in full: My boyfriend and I have decided to have a wedding. We’re not getting married in the legal sense, and in fact I share many of your views on civil marriage and lifelong commitment, but we like the [...]

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This week’s Ask The People’s Therapist question comes from Stephanie, who’s having problems dealing with her best friend: I don’t know what to do and I am pretty angry and annoyed with myself lately.  I have basically enabled a close friend of mine by consistently giving in to her wants/desires and not setting up proper boundaries [...]

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This week’s question comes from “S”.  Here’s a lightly edited version: Is it reasonable for a Father to ask his 3 year old son to call him every day? Due to his Father having an affair that he wishes to explore and pursue, we’re separated. The Father says that he misses his son and then [...]

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This week’s question come from Dwyn and Marissa: And here’s my answer: To submit a question to Ask The People’s Therapist, please email it as text or a video to: wmeyerhofer@aquietroom.com If I answer your question on the site, you’ll win a free session of psychotherapy with The People’s Therapist!

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This week’s question is from Gwynne. She wrote to say she might be interested in trying psychotherapy, but has a hesitation: What if I’m not much of a talker – at least when it comes to talking about me? An excellent question. Here’s my answer: To submit a question to Ask The People’s Therapist, please [...]

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