Sometimes I feel like I might be the greatest therapist in the world. Like when I help a gay person out of the closet. The results are amazing. If I could put what happens to a gay person when he comes out of the closet into a bottle and sell it, I’d be a multimillionaire. [...]
Archive for the ‘Thoughts and Musings’ Category
Ask. Tell.
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged coming out, DADT, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Dr. Martin Luther King, gay, gays in the military, lesbian, LGBT, Lt. Dan Choi, sexual orientation on April 11, 2010 | 3 Comments »
Does my therapist have to look like me?
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged African-American, American Sign Language, ASL, Cantonese, choosing a therapist, Clarence Thomas, deaf, diversity, ethnicity, Japanese-speaking psychotherapist, race, Thurgood Marshall, transgender on April 3, 2010 | 1 Comment »
Towards the end of a session a while back, one of my patients, who was African-American, laughed out loud, like he was sharing a personal joke. “What’s so funny?” I asked. “Oh, I don’t know. I still can’t get over the fact that my therapist is a white guy.” I shrugged and smiled – there [...]
Chimpanzees, Nazis, Republicans and healthcare
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged Auschwitz, chimpanzees, Freud, Glenn Beck, healthcare, Hitler, in-group/out-group psychology, Obama, Republicans, Solahütte, Tea Party movement, Theodor Cardinal Innitzer on March 28, 2010 | 18 Comments »
The first researchers to observe chimpanzees in the wild were left with an idyllic impression of our close ape cousins. They appeared to be a peaceful tribe of vegetarians, who cuddled and groomed and cared for one another in extended family units, sharing fruit and showering their young with affection. Only later, when in-depth studies [...]
You need a vacation.
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged dreams, Ernst Kris, Friedrich Nietzsche, play, regression, regression in the service of the ego, sleep, sleep deprivation, vacation on March 19, 2010 | 4 Comments »
I write a lot about unconscious regression – mostly how to prevent it. That’s because you want to learn to parent yourself – to live your life as an adult, not a child, to be awake and embrace awareness so you can take charge of the life you lead. On the other hand, sometimes being an [...]
You’re in trouble
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, Thoughts and Musings, tagged anxiety, cognition, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, predictive thoughts, PTSD, shell shock on March 17, 2010 | 46 Comments »
Remember when you were a kid, and you got caught doing something you shouldn’t, and a big cloud formed over your head? You were “in trouble.” The other kids sort of inched out of your path and exchanged looks. They didn’t want any piece of what you had coming. Mom was going to talk to [...]
Why you love Prince William and Kate Middleton
Posted in Current Events, Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged British Royal Family, Elizabeth II, infantilize, Kate Middleton, Louis XIV, play, Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, Prince Philip, Prince William, Versailles on March 14, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
I wrote a column a few weeks back on Prince William and Kate Middleton. I possess no expertise in the British royal family. I merely stumbled upon an article in a gossip mag comparing the Prince’s girlfriend to his mother, and it provided an excuse to discuss why you might choose a spouse who resembles your [...]
What a fool I was at 80…said the 90 year old man.
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged Bodhisattva, Bodhisattva of Compassion, Buddhism, enlightenment, Gerald Lucas, Lena Furgeri, regret, remorse, wisdom on March 12, 2010 | 6 Comments »
One of the hard parts of psychotherapy - and the unavoidable realities - is remorse. Inevitably, once you become more aware of who you are, and how you’re living your life…you wish you’d done so sooner. Patients are always telling me they’re kicking themselves for not getting to my office (or at least someone’s office) years before. One [...]
Popping pills at the office
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, Thoughts and Musings, tagged anti-depressant medication, anti-depressants, erectile dysfunction, neurotransmitter levels, pharmaceutical industry, psychotherapists, psychotherapy, sexual side effects, side effects on March 10, 2010 | 18 Comments »
A New York Times article from a few weeks ago holds enormous potential ramifications for lawyers bent over their desks at big law firms. The tentative conclusion of the piece was simple: if you are dealing with minor depression, or in fact, with anything other than massive, serious depression, popping anti-depressant pills is probably a [...]
Who are all these other people??
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged 12-step group, AA, Alcoholic's Anonymous, conjoint therapy, cross-talk, drop-in, gay men, Group therapy, HIV, psychotherapy group, support group, transference on March 5, 2010 | 9 Comments »
I was working this morning with a patient I’ve been seeing for a few months. At the end of our session I suggested he join one of my psychotherapy groups that meet once a week in the evenings. “What? You can do psychotherapy in a group? How does that work?” I was a bit surprised [...]
Walking in circles
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged circles, deja vu, Freud, learned behavior, observing ego, Pavlov, Pavlov's dogs, repetition compulsion on February 28, 2010 | 1 Comment »
My patient sounded bewildered. “It was like I was watching myself going through the motions – repeating the same old pattern.” He’d just broken up for the umpteenth time with a woman he’d been dating for over a year. “It’s always the same thing. I do something nice for her. Then she tries to do [...]
Gay is good, especially for children.
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged adaptation, adoption, evolution, extinction, gay adoption, gay adoption in Florida, gays, lesbian, LGBT, pair-bond, raising children, same-sex couples on February 20, 2010 | 5 Comments »
When gay people come out of the closet, they usually run into some variation of the “but that’s unnatural” argument. This is the apparently sensible claim that it doesn’t make sense to be gay. Isn’t sex for procreation? Why would two males or two females become romantically involved if they can’t have a child together? [...]
When the emptiness swallows you whole
Posted in AboveTheLaw series, Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged AboveTheLaw.com, Gil Cornblum, insider trading, Suicide, Sullivan & Cromwell, Toronto on February 16, 2010 | 33 Comments »
Last October, a law school placement director friend of mine forwarded me an email with a juicy piece of big law gossip. A former associate at Sullivan & Cromwell had offed himself. He was 39. The body was discovered beneath a highway bridge in Toronto. A few days earlier, it was revealed that since the [...]
A laugh. A sneeze. An orgasm.
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged comedians, laughter, orgasm, relaxation, sex, sneeze, trained response on February 14, 2010 | 5 Comments »
The orgasm has been compared to a sneeze – they’re both involuntary muscle spasms. I think I can draw a more useful parallel: a laugh. Laughing is certainly more fun than sneezing, and there’s another useful similarity – they’re both about relaxing, and letting yourself have fun. Most of my patients who have trouble attaining [...]
I do it all for you, my fans
Posted in About This Site, AboveTheLaw series, Thoughts and Musings, tagged Facebook, Fan, fan page on February 14, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
The People’s Therapist now has fans. Literally. I’ve created a “fan page” on Facebook. To become a “fan” please go to my Facebook “fan page” and click “become a fan.” Voila! You will subsequently become eligible for all the rights and privileges that befit a loyal fan of The People’s Therapist. Mostly, that means I [...]
The bearded woman
Posted in Current Events, Thoughts and Musings, tagged ambassador, beard, bearded woman, divorce, divorce rate, Dubai, marriage, veil on February 13, 2010 | 16 Comments »
Most of the Western world seems to have had a good laugh this week at an unidentified Arab ambassador to Dubai. This gentleman rushed to annul his marriage contract and cancel his wedding after he finally got a look at his bride-to-be’s face and realized she was cross-eyed and had a beard. She’d worn a [...]
You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful.
Posted in Intriguing Patients, Thoughts and Musings, tagged Beauty, inner child, negative introjects, physical appearance on February 12, 2010 | 5 Comments »
The other day, I was listening to a patient explain to me why he was ugly and no one could possibly find him attractive. This was news to me, because so far as I could tell he was a very handsome guy – film star handsome. It was a puzzling case. Let’s talk about beauty [...]
Scrooge McDuck explains everything
Posted in Thoughts and Musings, tagged A Christmas Carol, Dickens, Freud, Scrooge, Scrooge McDuck on February 10, 2010 | 4 Comments »
Here’s further evidence that Sigmund Freud didn’t invent the concept of psychotherapy out of thin air: There was a precursor, and his name was Charles Dickens. Way back in 1843, thirteen years before Freud was born, Dickens wrote a book summing up the process of psychotherapy. The title of this scholarly tome? You’ve probably read [...]
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