It seems like the cruelest thing they could say to you, but according to lawyers I work with as a therapist, they say it all the time:
Maybe you’re not cut out for this place.
There are variations, of course. There’s the old favorite:
Maybe you’re not cut out for this work.
Or – to put the knife in and twist it:
Maybe you’re not cut out to be a lawyer.
You’ve taken the LSAT, applied to law school, borrowed the budget of a small African nation, sat through endless lectures and countless exams, passed the atrocious trivia contest known as the bar, and now you’re in a big, powerful law firm – sinking like a stone.
And they’re letting you know it’s not a fluke, either – it’s you.
Maybe you’re not cut out for this place.
There’s always a smug half-smile on the face of the partner who says it, too.
Nice of him to tell you now, right?
At least with the “not cut out for this place” line, you can kid yourself life would be better with another employer. There are headhunters lining up to pocket a fee by packing you off to a “lifestyle” firm, where life is sweet and easy.
But you’re not that naive. Not after what you’ve been through. If “lifestyle” law firms exist, they are the holy grail of the legal profession – known only to a sacred few, not to every headhunter in the phone book.
The real question is why you run in horror from “maybe you’re not cut out for this place,” instead of asking yourself whether you really are cut out for this place.
You probably feel that – after all you did to get here – you have to be cut out for this place, and you have to be cut out for this job. You have to be a lawyer because you’ve sunk too much time and money into it to do anything else. You have no choice, no options, no future.
That’s not true.
My lawyer patients often start out sounding that way. I tell them to re-frame each aspect of their lives as a conscious choice. That way you stop being a victim and start taking charge of your own happiness.
Unhappy lawyers tend to give the same reason for why they got into their profession: “I couldn’t think of anything else to do.”
That’s sad. It’s also an example of unconscious living – sleep-walking through life. Legal education has become a default path, the easiest thing to do when you don’t want to make a decision for yourself.
Now that you’ve trod that well-worn path, the least you can do is re-frame your remaining choices. There might not be easy choices, but there are always choices – even if you have debt.
The first step is to stop doing what you’re told all the time. That’s how a child lives his life, not an adult.
Maybe you want to leave law completely, and get a fresh start.
You might want to be a chef, or a piano tuner, or open a fashion boutique, or get a job feeding penguins at the zoo. If that’s where you want to be, now’s the time to get started.
There will be obstacles. You have to prove you want it.
But plenty of lawyers have left big firms and gone on to pursue non-legal careers.
Creating happiness on your own terms is not like signing up for law school. That was easy. Taking charge of your life doesn’t require just hard work – it takes imagination. This is not a path for the risk-adverse.
The good news is you have no choice. This is not a dress-rehearsal. This is your actual life – the only chance you’re going to get to be happy.
If you’re not happy now, you’d better get on the problem, pronto.
Maybe you aren’t cut out for this place.
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This piece is part of a series of columns presented by The People’s Therapist in cooperation with AboveTheLaw.com. My thanks to ATL for their help with the creation of this series.
If you enjoy these columns, please check out The People’s Therapist’s new book, Way Worse Than Being A Dentist: The Lawyer’s Quest for Meaning
I also heartily recommend my first book, an introduction to the concepts behind psychotherapy, Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy
(Both books are also available on bn.com and the Apple iBookstore.)
Wow, this article could not be more timely. I’m going through a variation on the same theme right now, and it’s great to hear that I’m not crazy for leaving this line of work to pursue something entirely different. Now I just need to figure out what that “something” is! Thanks so much for your insight.
This is awesome. Painful, but awesome. I am a lawyer in a non-traditional career; I run the pre-law advisory center at an small undergrad college. I will be printing this post and putting it in the book I give students when they meet with me. About 10% of the students I see leave my office furious because I tell them that having no better plans after graduation than ls and the belief you will make mid-6 figures right out of law school with your T3 or T4 law degree is not a good life plan. No amount of statistics can dissuade them from their certainly that all lawyers from all law schools become rich and I am just cynical and bitter. In reality, I love my non-traditional law job, and I am saving them from the heartbreak and despair that accompanies the post-ls graduation realization they are not cut out for a legal career that they signed onto without having any clue what lawyers really do for a living.
I don’t worry about the 90% that come to see me with knowledge of the legal market, what lawyers do, and know the reality about a lawyer’s salary. But the 10% who will wind up saying this to a therapist break my heart.
Reread your closing sentence. It sounds like you’re advocating suicide. It’s very easy to read “this place” as your life, especially in context of the previous few paragraphs where you talk about the person’s life instead of firm.
For the record, I would never, in any way, shape or form, advocate self-harm of any kind.
After doing well in law school, I was expected to apply at all the big firms. Guess what I discovered? I’m not cut out for those places. And I’m forever grateful I learned that. The pile of rejection letters was not an esteem booster, but at the end of the day, the universe put me into two jobs post-law school that have been amazing. Today, I’m pretty sure I know what I want to do in the legal profession, along with yoga on the side, but more importantly, I know what I don’t want to do. And yes, I still have the loans the size of an African nation’s GDP. Mostly what I learned from these experiences is that perhaps I’m not cut out for those places because they are unsustainable. Being a lawyer is great work, but only if you are doing the work that allows you to be your greatest. Thanks for the reminder!
you cannot be a chef, piano tuner, open a fashion boutique, or get a job feeding penguins at the zoo when you are paying law school loan payments… eventually they will garnish your wages… try being a chef with 15% extra taken out every paycheck.
What to do once you realize (or have pointed out to you) that you aren’t cut out for this place has been, for me, a very rough road too. I went from a law job at a firm to a non-legal job at a nonprofit. I hate the non-legal job about as much, but don’t get paid nearly what I did. I’m tempted to go back to school for an LLM, but know that would be as big a mistake as going to law school was. I find myself fairly paralyzed right now: afraid to do anything because I might just throw myself from the pan into the fire. I would love if the next article would address that.
I always find these type of articles advocating a take-charge mentality at freeing yourself from the suffocating experience that is law practice; like many law students, I too found the disenchantment with law palpable from the first year. The failure of this article (and most articles which cover this topic of alternative career choices) is that the articles fail to mention that it is, unfortunately, hopeless for those who do not have a top school JD. All examples of those who get out of law and successfully transition into a new career have the Harvard, NYU, Columbia et. al pedigrees behind them (with the People’s Therapist being the case in point). It is by virtue of the prestige and presumed intellectual capability associated with such a school that these people are able to get out of law; employers will take a chance on them because they perceive it as not taking a chance at all: they presume that if this person has an Ivy-League/Near Ivy League pedigree, they are smart enough to learn the job. Sadly, much like BigLaw…even those who want to get out of law will get their foot in other doors by virtue of the prestige of their law degree. Those at the T2 and below will never get a shot at good law, nor have an opportunity to get out. Please provide examples of those who “got out” of law, but did not have the top pedigree.
Did you take a look at the link in my post, titled “non-legal careers” – there are some good examples there.
School and ivy-league pedigree aren’t everything. The ability to know yourself – and to sell yourself, your authentic, true self – is everything.
Was that a joke when you said to check our your non-legal careers link? Cheerleader? Sex Industry? Belly Dancer? Most of the examples there are ridiculous. Is there anywhere to see actual options for a lawyer to career transition?
I’m not sure I agree that these examples from AboveTheLaw.com are all that ridiculous. Sitting in a basement reviewing documents for a living is less ridiculous than belly dancing? I’m in there, too – I became a psychotherapist. Is that ridiculous? Part of my point is that it is okay for a lawyer to think outside the box for a change.
No offense, but what a pile of BS. I know people who have started Sake stores, architecture firms, furniture making operations, and became fiction writers without having a big-name JD behind them. In fact, they are almost better off because they *don’t* get the “easy” jobs that come to those with great academic credentials. Sure, if you want to get a marketing job at Coca-cola a big name will help. But if you want do something off the beaten path, the school you got your JD from doesn’t matter one Iota. What matters is that you have the sense of self to check your self-pity and door and step up to the plate and bet on yourself.
I got that line once. Actually, it was, “You’re not cut out for this type of work.”
My immediate thought was, “Thank God!”
I was told this upon my departure (by my choice) from one BigFlaw firm for another BigFlaw firm, by the head of the practice group. The partner who said this was known throughout the firm for being a very quiet, never-raises-her-voice, backstabbing b-i-t-c-h.
Being the senior associate, I was a good deal further along in life than the others, and I knew well how behavior like hers said far more about her than about me. I mostly ignored her attacks as best I could. But it was hard not to let things get to me.
Every other associate in the group was suffering — two from anxiety attacks (for which they were seeing a doctor), two from heart palpitations (for which they were seeing a doctor), and three from depression (for which they were seeing a doctor).
She poached the clients that I had brought in with me. When I complained, she *destroyed* my secretary with an accusation that she had made racist remarks in the workplace. I was forced to watch as she told others that they would never succeed in their careers. I watched as she alienated clients, and traded larger clients for smaller clients, while the firm never noticed. I saw her backdate letters to clients by weeks or even months. I saw her cut associates’ time and put it on her own time sheets. I saw her do other things that broke laws and international treaties (I’m not joking about this – we did international transactional work).
When one associate got a new job and gave the required two weeks’ notice, this partner immediately started giving her large projects at 4:45 every afternoon, with instructions to have the work done by 9:00 the following morning. She did this every day for those two weeks.
She wielded her Blackberry like a weapon, emailing associates at 3:00 a.m. with assignments to have done by 9:00. To this day, I will not carry an email device.
I discovered that my immediate predecessor had literally gone crazy on the job. She left her office to meet a client, and never showed. The firm only got involved after she had been missing for three days. The police took one look at the missing associate’s apartment, and put out an APB, believing that she was probably dead. She turned up, (physically) sound, at the other end of the country (but she did finally leave that toxic environment).
So yes, when she said that I wasn’t cut out for “this type of work,” I was very happy indeed.
What’s that partner’s name again?
That was better than the OP!
I was told that I “probably shouldn’t be a lawyer” by my first BigLaw firm within a year of starting. I went to another firm and I am doing very well. Turns out, the partners at the first BigLaw firm weren’t cut out to mentor juniors and had underestimated me. I think my second job worked out markedly better because I was able to realistically analyze personalities and firm cultures during the interview process. That is a skill that I was only able to develop with some experience in the field and certainly not a skill that I had in law school. I didn’t know myself as a professional or the legal business well enough during the summer associate process to catch such nuances.
In your comment response you state that “[t]he ability to know yourself – and to sell yourself, your authentic, true self – is everything.” I completely agree, but I would add that in my experience this principle applies to legal careers as well as non-legal careers, and just because someone tells you that you are not cut out for BigLaw, or anything else for that matter, does not mean that it is true. Knowing yourself means repelling negative forces and finding a place to develop, whether in law or in some other field.
I am surprised that more Biglaw lawyers are not considering going solo or starting their own small practices. You might struggle for a while, but ultimately you will be in control of your own destiny. Unlike other lines of business, you definitely won’t work more working for yourself than you do now.
A great deal of the frustration comes from the fact that while we make the big bucks in absolute terms, the pay (in NY) is not worth it unless there is a promise of making even more (i.e., partnership). So 100 of us are working like we have a chance, but only 1 does. The other 99 are being exploited and, obviously, feel dead-end frustrated. It’s scary to go solo or small, especially when you’re not being pushed out, and lawyers are generally risk averse. But I believe its worth it. Save some money, talk to your significant other, your mother in law, your parents. If you have their support, what’s there to be afraid of? In this economy, if you have a skill that you can offer clients for 350 instead of 600 or a fixed fee, you’re bound to succeed.
I had exactly this same revelation a few days ago: http://lzmironova.tumblr.com/post/496277041/clear-as-a-southern-california-day
I’m glad to find I’m not alone.
Keep up these deeply meaningful posts, Will. I believe that you are and will continue to affect the decisions of at least some people, and for those people, your impact will be life-altering for the better.
After five years of practicing law at two different law firms, I was desperately unhappy. The partners who supervised me were not evil people (well, I think one of them might have been a low-level minion in Hell), but they were all horrible managers who always managed to make me feel like I would never measure up. I hated my job so much that I could barely get out of bed in the morning. Yet, I continued to feel that I had to keep plodding along in this life because I invested so much time, money, and energy in my law degree. I spent several months discussing my situation with a therapist, and with her help, I decided that my situation was not sustainable and I needed to leave. I left BigLaw to pursue a master’s in library and information science. My BigLaw colleagues viewed my decision as utterly insane and pretty much avoided me, as if my decision to leave BigLaw might somehow be catching. I have been a research librarian for over five years now, and I love my job. I make $100K less, but I made lifestyle and student loan adjustments, and I survived the income loss. I have kind, smart colleagues and intellectually challenging work. I don’t regret my decision to leave practice one bit.
Librarian, I am in the early stages of looking for alternative career paths (I am currently in “big law”). One of the areas that I’m interested in investigating is the archivist/library science field. If you read this and would be willing to post more about your experience (or e-mail offline) let me know. Thanks.
In my firm the line is, “maybe this isn’t the right place for you,” and if the partner’s really angry, “maybe this isn’t the right field for you.” What bothered me most was that someone else was telling me what I can’t do. It wasn’t until I gained more confidence in myself and realized my own capabilities that I started looking for other jobs because I realized he was right, this isn’t the right place for me – I can do better.
Great post…I really like the encouragement / empowerment for lawyers who need to find a better way to live and work. I had a prestigious clerking job after law school and went on to practice briefly but later hit a wall as a result of depression (which runs in my family) and burnout. After taking a break from legal practice, I eventually found a decent job with an NGO that is making good use of my skills and provides a more normal lifestyle. My life is *much* saner as a result and I’m starting (gradually) to perceive opportunities and creative possibilities again, whereas before I simply felt trapped and miserable.
Law students and lawyers are often made to feel inferior by the schools/firms/conformist culture, but I really believe that a lot of legal institutions and systems are simply dysfunctional. Often the best answer is move on to something more fulfilling (within or outside of law), but it does take some thoughtful strategizing to pull this off effectively. A great therapist can help a lot, although in my experience finding one can require a fair bit of trial and error.
Thank you for that post. The only upside to the recession is that many are confronted with the unexpected now, rather than the typical two-three years following complete burnout. Does it completely, totally, and utterly suck? Yes. Does it rob you of the pre-conceived notions about your own self-worth? Of course. Why the hell did we go through all this any way? Believe it or not, I don’t think it matters (okay, maybe it is character building. but so are many other less expensive endeavors).
I ran the full gamut of emotions for a few months, and mostly focused on how guilty I felt for disappointing loved ones and living off of my husband’s salary (he is a teacher, and I still don’t have the heart to tell him that several of my classmates earned tens of thousands of dollars more than his annual salary this year. They did nothing. My husband works non-stop (yes, even during school vacation). Even worse, as a middle school department head at a prestigious NY independent school, most of the students he is responsible for educating happen to be the children of BigLaw partners or financial wunderkinds (ie, those still employed and received six- to seven-figure bonuses to boot).
The question is, what to do now? I took the johnson o’connor career aptitude test, and I highly recommend it for anyone dealing with “employment hiatus”.* It jump-started my job search all over again, but more importantly it re-focused and re-directed my job search. The test objectively told me what I was good at, and then suggested specific career paths that I would be naturally good at based on my results.
So now I’m swallowing my pride. When I’m not in weekly therapy, I’m networking or applying for investigator and crisis management positions. All the stuff I loved about law school, without the stuff I hated about practicing law.
*Interestingly, several colleagues quietly mentioned that they too had done the johnson o’connor test and are currently at the top of their test-suggested fields.
Just to clarify regarding members of the 2009 class who were paid lots of money to do nothing:
I specifically was referring to those who received $60,000-$75,000 deferral stipends from BigLaw firms, in exchange for postponing their employment or to walk away from it altogether – no strings attached.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for posting the kind of comments that seem uniquely imperative at 2 am 🙂
And remember this, too — they rarely tell you that “you’re not cut out for this” after a year on the job, after a careful evaluation of your work, skills, strengths, and weaknesses. No, they tell you this after you’ve been there for years.
They usually tell you this (1) when there’s been an economic downturn of some kind (general recession, industry-specific contraction, loss of a big client), (2) change in the partnership (e.g., partner who liked you forced out, or new partners brought in and they’re “sweeping” out the pre-existing people), or (3) you’re getting perilously close to the point where they have to actually decide whether or not you’re going to be on the real partnership track.
If you’re told “you’re not cut out for this”, think carefully about recent events, and look around at what else has been going on in the firm. Chances are excellent (100%, in fact) that it’s not you. After all, you’ve probably been there several years. And they think that they’re being convincing when they say that they only just figured it out? Oh, puh-leeze!
Take a deep breath, recognize colossally bad management now that it’s actually biting you in the tookas, and move on. (But remember, they’re all like that!)
Agree, but add to that list: (4) impending birth of a child; and (5) working parent who wants to actually see your child . . .
I’d lump those together under:
(4) they’ve somehow gotten the idea that maybe you don’t want to spend 100% of your waking hours billing.
Thank you for this site. I thought I was the only one this happened. I landed my dream job right out of law school (I had networked and schmoozed my entire third year trying to get into this place) and three months later I couldn’t wait to leave. I don’t know if my ambitious lobbying for the job had made them think I knew more than I did but I struggled. My boss was inept at managing. He never spoke to me and avoided me. They would have departmental meetings and not tell me. He had a get-together at his house and would not tell me his address – just get it from somebody he said. I had never done this type of law before and they don’t teach federal procurement law in law school so I made a few errors (but nothing detrimental). By month six, I had pretty much been regulated to hole-punching. Anyway, I sought a transfer to a non-legal department and despite the bad-mouthing from my boss, I was transferred and was extremely happy at my new place. While I was never told I wasn’t cut out for the place, it was implied. I used to beat myself up for not fitting in and not doing better. I am glad that I am not the only one that has struggled. I didn’t stay at this place for much longer and found other work. Not my dream job but it got me on a better path. I have since opened my own firm and while it can be hard, I would never go back. But for the longest time I thought I wasn’t cut out for anything and I now know it was primarily that place. So thanks. (Although I still wonder why he ever hired me in the first place.)
No, becoming a therapist is not ridiculous. And yes, sitting in a basement reviewing documents is ridiculous. But it is hard to see it as ridiculous when the person doing it is just out of law school and saddled with $100,000+ of student loan debt, feeling trapped. I think a person in that situation is going to feel quite at a loss when out of the box options include things like cheerleading, which are only available to a person genetically pre-disposed to a certain body type.
Therapist is actually a very realistic option in comparison.
I am just saying that the “think outside the box” point was overshadowed by the usual cynicism of the Above The Law blog. So, when that cynicism is combined with really-out-there options it looks like it might be a joke. Ok, I guess it was not a joke. And I get it, think outside the box. But your point was lost by just using the link. But I think many people would like to hear about some realistic options, that is all I am saying. I think you need to put more thought into it than just suggesting someone to check out your non-legal options and then it links to Above The Laws weird page on this issue. As a therapist I think you would do well to propose realistic, healthier options (Sex Industry is not an option I think a responsible therapist should get behind, you might as well suggest that sex addiction is OK) and then, for the outside the box concept (which I totally agree with) talk about that.
One of the comments came from a person who is now an undergrad pre-law counselor. Why not do a post on options like that (much more realistic I think) and how one could plan to transfer to it? Also, one thing that has been a big help to me as I plan my transfer to a non-legal-ish career. The new Income Based Repayment option for student loans that was passed last July. Now that this exist, I am looking into other career options because my payment has gone down because my salary has gone down. I am not trapped into a Biglaw salary just to make my monthly student loan payment.
You have some great ideas. You are doing a great thing with this blog by talking about what Biglaw keeps in the closet: the pathology of Biglaw life and the toll it can take on mental health and self esteem. I am grateful for that. But, I think you can do better. Don’t underestimate the responsibility you have taken by becoming a therapist and by being public with the issue on your blog.
Will, I wanted to write one more time to say that I cannot emphasize enough how great it is that you have this blog. Your background gives so much credibility to the problems that Biglaw associates and alums face. It is so validating that you became a therapist and are writing about it. Sorry, my first comment I see now was rather critical. I just personally felt a little let down when I jumped the link and saw some of the options. Wish I had conveyed my feelings more than the criticism (I, too get infected by the Above The Law/lawyer criticism mindset at times).
All the best,
Anonymous
Not a problem. Sure – I wish I had a link for you to all the sensible options for lawyers who want to change careers. But I haven’t got one handy – AboveTheLaw suggested the link to their pages. There’s another point here, though, as well, which is that being sensible and following the logical, well-worn path is what got us all into this mess. Maybe it is time to consider something “crazy.” I jumped from law into the book marketing business – people said I was nuts and didn’t have a chance…then I told them I wanted to give that all up and become a psychotherapist. My point is that what’s going to work for you might sound nuts to someone else. Starting this blog sounded a bit nuts, frankly.
In any case – thanks for the kind words.
Hmmmm….yes, I see your point. I agree that many of us have gotten ourselves into this initially by taking what seemed like a safe path (and a financially secure one).
By the way, I am glad to see on ATL and other places that the value of law school is being challenged (i.e., high cost of law school vs. actual job market)
And, as I embark on my own crazy path, which I may reveal that at some point, but just am not ready yet, I am looking for something steady that will 1) pay the bills (and not exhorbitant ones..I have deliberately cut back on all expenses, moved out of NYC, downsized everything and watched money like a hawk, which I did not do (and didn’t have time to do) when I had my huge biglaw salary; and 2) still give me a little time to try to work on the crazy ideas that I hope will really spring me out of law and into a new career (without going back to school — I already have too many loans)
I have been working at a contract attorney, which, I was told by a head hunter years ago would be absolute career death. And, in some ways it is…Biglaw attorneys and the in-house attorneys who came from big law do not get why I would do this and a company I have worked for for almost two-years many simply will not consider me for full-time employment (even if they otherwise make it clear, and they have, that they love my work). As far as the contract work, I like it because I can use my skills (and be appreciatated and actually respected for it in a way I was never appreciated at Biglaw or at my permanent in-house jobs) without being involved in the politics and Biglaw demands that regular employment would require. Downside: lack of steadiness. So I am looking at more steady options that have a lot of the same upside. Not sure that exists. But looking.
I discovered that I truly enjoy performing legal TASKS: research, writing, negotiating, counseling but HATE Biglaw and HATE in-house politics.
So, perhaps I will dream up a string of “realistic” sort of transition options for lawyers (I started looking into the viability of things like law librarian (which does not look like too good an option, actually), part-time teaching, legal careers counseling, and of course the viability of contract attorney work (document review – not a good idea; contract work writing briefs and handling contracts (which I do) is great work….if you can get it). When I get a good list with some pros and cons perhaps I will send that to you. This list would be for those slightly less crazy (or less, ahem, endowed with unusual talents), but still willing to take the risk of jumping out of biglaw.
But for those who want to go really “crazy” and consider a drastic jump…and CAN do it (there are other limitations that may seem unsurmountable to some – I am a single mom for example) I am all for it. Also, I agree, if one really wants a change, there is no avoiding TAKING A RISK. The true barrier to an actual change from Biglaw life to something more satisfying is wanting to stay safe (even if it means misery). I guess this puts some new light (for me) on the really “out there” options that I had criticized …no matter what, if a change is desired, SOME degree of risk needs to be taken).
Also, thinking abot the following: If Biglaw requires a huge sacrifice in mental health (and I think it does), is the truth that one has to do something really drastic, and supposedly crazy just to value mental health over the paycheck? I hope that is not the choice our economy and law shool debt load have brought us too. What about those whose personalities need some safety – more risk averse people — but who also need to get out just to save their own minds? Hence, my idea for the more “realistic” list.
Dear Will,
I graduated in 2008 with a degree in Political Science. I was on the path of going to law school because there are many lawyers in my family and I just assumed this would be the next step. When I took the LSAT, I BOMBED it. I also took it late which prevented me from applying to law schools for the 2008-2009 school year (because I would needed to retake it). I figured I would take the year off, work, and apply for the 2009-2010 school year. My parents were not thrilled.
During that year, I did a lot of soul searching. I took the LSAT 2 more times and never got the score I wanted. I think the LSAT is short for “EL-SATAN” which basically means the devil.
I also got a job in sales – which I hated but during my free time I began to do some volunteering. I volunteered at an organization for children with special needs and absolutely loved it.
I am now back in school studying to be a special ed teacher. I am so happy that I didn’t go to law school. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out your passion at such a young age which is why I think that so many people attend law school straight out of college and then regret it. My heart goes out to all those students and graduates struggling with loans and the job market. If I would’ve done well on the LSAT the first time I would’ve gone to law school right away (and been miserable).
But anyways, I like this article and I think you’re right. If you have a passion or something you know that will make you happy then you should pursue it, pre/post JD.
Thanks for your blog!
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