I’ve written a fair amount about lawyers at the office in this column.
Right now a lot of lawyers aren’t at the office.
They’re at home, out of work.
Unemployment is tough on lawyers because they tend to be pleasers – they have to be, to earn the grades to make it into law school.
It’s all about pleasing others at a firm, too. You submit to the whims of a partner and work around the clock.
Like all pleasers, lawyers get used to looking outside themselves for affirmation of their worth.
When you’re unemployed, there’s no one to please but yourself. You’re alone with you – and for a pleaser, that can lead to a plunge in self-esteem.
That’s why, during unemployment, you have to be especially good to yourself.
You can’t afford to fall into a hole right now – you need to stay strong. That means reminding yourself of your achievements – your grades, your degree, your accomplishments at a firm.
If things get truly dire – remember the bottom line: you’re doing your best. That’s all anyone can ask.
This is no time to beat yourself up. Remember to be you – your best self – the person you really are. That’s more than just a lawyer – that’s a person. Spend time with friends, and people who like you. You’re worth something and you know it – and you need all the support you can get.
You also need some time off.
The worst thing about being unemployed, as one of my unemployed lawyer clients put it, is that “when you’re unemployed, you’re always working.”
Unemployment can turn into a 24-hour/day grind. Give yourself permission to relax sometimes. Activity is important – but so is taking time off to get your head together.
Job interviews, in my experience, can be particularly difficult for lawyers.
Pleasers never learn to sell themselves – you just do what you’re told and hope good things happen.
That doesn’t work in a job interview.
You might remember those mass interviews the law school placement departments arranged back in the boom years. They typically consisted of a handshake, a dutiful glance at a resume, and a pointless chat about nothing.
Those weren’t real job interviews. Those firms were hiring your resume. They just wanted to make sure you could dress yourself. The interviewers often seemed as clueless as the candidates.
It’s different now, during a recession. You have to sell yourself actively.
That can be tough for a lawyer.
Here are a few basic rules:
First, a job interview is a sales presentation. You are not relating to a friend, or a mentor or a parent or teacher – or even someone who particularly cares about you. You are selling to a customer.
People tend to regress under stress, and fall into unconscious patterns of behavior – like pleasing a parent-figure. But that’s not what a job interview is about.
An interview is not a confessional. This is not where you open up and share your truth.
If you are asked about your previous job, and you hated it, don’t say so. Never lie at an interview – but don’t spill your guts, either. No one wants to hire a complainer – even if your complaint is legitimate.
Stay upbeat.
You have two simple messages to communicate: (1) You can do this job; and (2) You want this job.
That’s it. Never stray from the outline.
First message: You can do this job.
An employer narrows the field to the most competent applicants. He is hiring you to do something he doesn’t want to do himself.
He doesn’t want to teach you, or mentor you, or be bothered with you. He doesn’t particularly care about your career – that’s your job. He cares about his career. His worst fear is that you will screw something up and make him look bad.
You must assure him you can do this job – and won’t create hassles.
Second message: You want this job.
Of the pool of competent applicants, an employer will choose the one who wants it the most.
That’s more than the human instinct to give someone what he wants. He also knows you’ll work harder if you appreciate having the job. He doesn’t need attitude.
If you can look an interviewer in the eye and say it would be a privilege to work at his firm – do so.
That’s it.
Communicate your two messages – and get out of there.
Unemployment isn’t fun – but it might make you stronger. People grow under adverse conditions – it draws out your strengths.
Affirm your belief in yourself and get down to business – and you can nail that interview and get the job you want.
Confidence comes from within. It’s there, if you look for it.
[Editor’s note: this piece is part of a series of columns created by The People’s Therapist in cooperation with AboveTheLaw.com. My thanks to ATL for their help with the creation of this series.]
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I’ve been reading your columns since they first appeared on ATL and very much appreciate the pieces that you publish. This post in particular hits home. I spent more than half a year on the unemployment rolls, after getting jobs for several years in precisely the way that you described above. For me, advocacy has always been much easier when I was not the client. Interviews during down times have sort of changed that by force. It’s true that this recession has made me stronger in some ways; it has also made me more risk averse, scared, and stressed out.
As for the interview suggestions, I have to concur wholeheartedly. I now interview people regularly, and the job always goes to the most eager, (seemingly) lowest maintenance candidate.
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Will, thanks so very much for your blog. Having just gone through a year of unemployment after being laid off, now I’m finally employed. It was a tough year, but the funny thing is that now that I’m working again, I can’t get over the last year. I feel like I’m suffering from PTSD. I’m so afraid this is going to screw up my current job opportunity that I’ve started to have panic attacks again. Any suggestions?
I’m not the author of this blog, but I just wanted to say to “Back on My Feet” that you are not the only one feeling like that. I also had to search for close to a year to find something else, and I’m still not really over it – especially the manner in which my firm conducted its layoffs. I assumed I would bounce back immediately after finding a new position, but I haven’t.
I was also laid off over a year ago. Even though I was able to land two job offers in two weeks and start at a new (and much better) firm in less than a month after being laid off, I suffered for quite a while. The panic/anxiety attacks didn’t go away like I expected them to. I ended up back with the therapist who I was seeing while still in BigLaw and learned all about identifying the “Cognitive Distortions” that were causing my anxiety.
I was actually thinking of submitting a question like this via email. It is good to know I’m not alone–I feel like I should have been able to “just deal” and “move on”.
Great post. I’ve experienced the same thing. I’ve been back working full-time for quite a while now (after 6 months or so of unemployment, and a couple of years of intermittent employment). Things are going really well, but I still feel the fear again every so often, despite a lot of affirmation from my boss and clients.
Winston Churchill had a good motto for situations like these: “If you’re going through hell, *keep going*”.
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I fell just shy of the 2 year mark, and have only been “gainfully” employed for a month. Though it’s nice to know exactly when (and how much) I’ll be paid, it has been a struggle to adjust. I agree with the PTSD point; kind of feels like I was just getting over it after being laid off and am now experiencing it again being back in the “working” world. I’ve swapped fretting about where my next pay check is coming from to waking up in the middle of the night freaked out over something trivial and wondering if I’ll get the ax when I get to the office. And there is definitely an overpowering desire to please, to be “indispensable” which past experience demonstrates as a ridiculous notion.
One thing, too, is recognizing a “grieving” process after getting laid off. Sounds kind of bizarre, but you do go through similar emotions: sadness, anger, recognition, acceptance. A key thing for me was recognizing that, and giving myself some space to adjust before applying for jobs. I look back on interviews now, immediately after or within months of being laid off, and I sound desperate. I wasn’t desperate; I was excited for the positions to which I applied and was subsequently interviewed, they were something I really wanted to do, but not having processed all that comes with being laid off (especially for the first time), I sounded desperate.
Hind sight and all, so sharing the benefit of my experience. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it isn’t visible. Took almost two years for it to be visible for me.
This is a wonderful post that I think deals sensitively with the issue of attorney unemployment and highlights an important interviewing issue. Candidates seem to forget that the employer cares mainly about two things: 1) can you do the job and 2) can you get along with them? Candidates seem to forget they need to market themselves.
I agree. Most people underestimate the extent to which a law interview hinges upon being likable. Your grades and/or resume get you in the door, but after that it’s all about how you convey personality.
As far as being unemployed goes, I second the posters thoughts, and would add only that periods of unemployment can best be used to reconsider career and life decisions with an eye to finding ones true niche in the professional world. Too many people settle for the comfortable paycheck. If more actively sought out their passions and pursued them, job satisfaction would be much more common than it presently is.
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