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Archive for May 8th, 2010

This week’s question comes from “S”.  Here’s a lightly edited version:

Is it reasonable for a Father to ask his 3 year old son to call him every day?

Due to his Father having an affair that he wishes to explore and pursue, we’re separated.

The Father says that he misses his son and then asks that his son call him every day. I feel like I’ve made the point to the Father repeatedly and he either can’t hear or understand.

If you miss your son, then you need to call your son. He needs to have you call him so that he knows that you miss him. He will associate the action of you calling him with you missing and caring about him.

I get a lot of excuses for why he can’t call but my all time favorite is, “There is a time difference.” Amazing he can figure out the time difference between the West Coast and Asia to talk to his Mistress. But between the West Coast and the 50th State, just can’t do it. In every instance of my son asking to talk to his Dad, which has been all of once, I have called.

What’s your best advice here? Do I dig my heels in? Do I just make the call? Or do I wait for my son to ask to call his Dad? How do you communicate with a person like this?

And here’s my answer:

To submit a question to Ask The People’s Therapist, please email it as text or a video to: wmeyerhofer@aquietroom.com

If I answer your question on the site, you’ll win a free session of psychotherapy with The People’s Therapist!

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