It’s hard to conjure up bad stuff to say about clerking. It’s an honor, and an all-expense-paid ticket on an exclusive legal gravy train. If you’re lucky enough to clerk for a federal district or circuit court judge, you can rest assured you’re looking good and feeling good. You might even shoot the moon and sing with the Supremes. In that case, you’re good to go: You’ll never have to practice actual law again. You can sign up now to teach a seminar on “Law and Interpretive Dance” at Yale or attend sumptuous international human rights conferences hosted by African dictators. Life is good at the top. Imagine the stimulation of interacting one-on-one with the mind of a Clarence Thomas (and acquiring access to his porn collection.) You could be the clerk who builds an ironclad case striking down universal access to healthcare – or witness the day Justice T opens his mouth to speak during oral argument.
Even if you’re clerking for an obscure political hack (which is the norm), as a clerk you qualify to skip out of biglaw hell. The deal – as you probably know – is thus: you get to work non-law firm hours for a year, then return to the firm as though you’d suffered with the other monkeys. If you finish two clerkships, you double your fun and skip two years of Hell-on-Earth – then return with a third year’s salary!
Clerking gigs can be hard work – you could be researching and writing twelve hours a day. But you’re not putting in weekends (usually), and thanks to the court calendar, there are slow times built into the schedule. Your judge could turn out to be geriatric and losing his marbles (not a rare occurrence) or simply a lunatic – but you’re still doing substantive, important work – rather than, say, researching an un-busy partner’s attempt at a treatise or frying your brain with doc review.
Clerking is a sweet deal – one good reason to do litigation instead of corporate. As a clerk, you might learn something. That’s probably not going to happen as a junior doing corporate.
Yes, there’s a catch, and it’s a whopper: Most clerkships – a whole lot of clerkships – require relocating to the middle of freakin’ nowhere.
If you’re like most educated people, you’ve absentmindedly noticed at some point that the United States occupies a wide tract of land. There’s a lot of that stuff in the middle – the zone with the empty square states they use for missile practice, and those ones in the South where they sprayed black people with fire hoses and sicced dogs on them (as featured in your high school history textbook)(unless you went to high school in the South.)
Yeah, those places.
I am scrupulously non-partisan in these columns – no one can gull me into revealing my sympathies. But I will say this: the frightful wasteland situated between the civilized portions of our nation is dominated by a political party whose platform includes a Constitutional Amendment to outlaw gay marriage. Yeah. They want to alter the founding document of our nation to bash gays. Feeling all warm and fuzzy? Get used to it. If you clerk, and your judge is posted in fly-over country, then so are you.
Welcome to the “real” America. Welcome to the wackadoodles. Welcome to wackadoodleville.
How bad does it get?
Before we start describing where you’re going, remember what you’re leaving behind. A clerkship in the land of Wal-marts and trailer parks, whatever else it entails, spells one year without your spouse, life-partner, steady friend with benefits or whatever. Whomever you’re with – if you’re traveling to Lubbock, Sioux Falls or Tupelo – they’re probably staying home.
Don’t underestimate the effect of a long distance separation on a relationship. You can tell yourself it’s only nine or ten months, not even a year, really. And you can talk on Skype all the time. And you can have sex, sort of, on Skype. But long distance living is about the worst thing that can happen to a relationship. You make the sacrifices for monogamous commitment yet reap none of the rewards.
It’s going to be worse for you. She’ll be in NYC or LA, where, if she does cheat, it will be worth the effort, and, if you break up, she can meet someone else. For you… not so much. A name like “Wichita” or “Birmingham” or “Clarksville” (wherever that is) sounds cool in a blues song, but the reality of most of these places is a burg where the available women at the local T.G.I Friday’s attend mega-churches, consider evolution a hoax and think Sarah Palin is a right-on woman (in the case of Witchita, you’ll also be visiting the corporate headquarters for Koch Industries.) What will you be doing at a local T.G.I. Friday’s? That’s where you’ll be seeking female companionship after you discover there are no other options.
First, you’ll have to find the T.G.I. Friday’s, which will be located in a strip mall amid anonymous suburban aridity. There’s no downtown in most of these places. Back in the 70’s and 80’s, the white people fled to the suburbs, along with the jobs. The poor black people who were left had no jobs, so the middle of the city became a “slum.” The answer? Slum clearance. Bulldoze the whole mess, then build a few skyscrapers and a football stadium. That’s what’s there nowadays – a few skyscrapers, a football stadium and forty acres of parking lot.
Which brings us to another issue. Other than watching tv, there is exactly one extra-curricular activity available in your new home – watching football. Opera, classical music, modern dance, ballet, jazz, theater, galleries, lectures, readings, art museums – those pastimes are reserved for communists and homosexuals. You can drink – it counts as a cultural activity – and you can watch football. That’s it. There are movie theaters in the malls, but you will need a car to get there and you’ll find a megaplex with sixteen theaters showing “Fast and Furious VIII”. No one – no one – will know who Helena Bonham Carter is. Pause, and contemplate that for a moment.
It gets worse. Americans aren’t supposed to admit this – at least white Americans – but despite what Justice Scalia says (with his astonishing legal acumen), it’s possible the issue of race hasn’t entirely melted into insignificance in this great land of ours. You know how black people are kind of mostly poorer than whites and America kind of has the highest incarceration rate in the world and a vastly disproportionate percentage of those people behind bars kind of happen to be black, and white people and black people kind of mostly live in different places and kind of don’t really see each other too much, like, socially? You know? That divide only worsens in the hinterlands. A client clerking in West Dipstick saw a famous black comedian perform at the local theater. It was something to do – a rare occurrence. The place was packed, the show was great – and he was the only white person in the theater. It was weird, having a tiny bit of fun – his first in months – while experiencing first-hand the secret poison of American apartheid.
Another annoying aspect of living in a state famous for “hollers” and “corn licker” is the classic trademark of people who live someplace no one else wants to: profound defensiveness. New Yorkers don’t rush to defend New York against detractors. They assume you’re an idiot if you don’t love it and New York is better without you. But if you’re from East Bumptruck, you’ll tackle anyone to the ground who so much as hints he might not like it there. That gets old fast. Especially when – as is usually the case – the judge hires a local clerk for appearances and that’s the guy foaming at the mouth because you hinted the nightlife in South Bumbledunk isn’t all that.
I heard about one clerk who ended up finding the closest airfield in her rural nowhere (it was in one of those “I” states…Idaho? Iowa? Illinois? Is there another one?) and taking flying lessons. I guess it was something to do. Oddly enough, she’s not the first person I’ve heard of stuck in the sticks who took up flying. It kills time – and affords you the illusion of possessing a means of escape.
My advice on surviving the boondocks? Do what you can to survive. I’d read about a thousand books, download Merchant Ivory films and pray for sweet release. That might not be your thing. Maybe you can find an airfield. Or take up knitting.
What you’ll need more than advice is someone to listen as you vent your misery. Good old Skype. Thanks to the internet, I listen to law clerk misery direct from the heartland, every week.
I feel your pain. Personally, I’m willing to venture to Brooklyn for day trips to take in local color, but cross the Hudson? Only if I’m flying to L.A. or San Fran. I don’t mess with fly-over country.
========
This piece is part of a series of columns presented by The People’s Therapist in cooperation with AboveTheLaw.com. My thanks to ATL for their help with the creation of this series.
If you enjoy these columns, please check out The People’s Therapist’s new book, Way Worse Than Being a Dentist: The Lawyer’s Quest for Meaning
I also heartily recommend my first book, an introduction to the concepts behind psychotherapy, Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy
(Both books are also available on bn.com and the Apple iBookstore.)
I had to chuckle to see your own Manhattan-based biases. I don’t agree with everything, but one pleasure I discovered in Manhattan and is readily exportable to “those places” is the thrill of cycling. and on the open road, it’s that much better!
As someone who grew up in a suburb of East Wackadoodle (yes, it even has suburbs–terrifying), this column made me laugh. But it also made me a little sad. When I was a teen, I would slam the place all the time, while telling my grandmother that, one day, I would escape and be a “rich lawyer in New York City.”
And here I am.
When I go back there, and I see all the people in the local supermarket who look like they’ve basically given up on life, I’m actually a little bit jealous. Maybe if I could have been ok with minimum wage, utter boredom, and football, I’d be a lot happier. Maybe they’re the winners.
So what do you feel when you see lawyers who have basically given up on life?
Hope for the rest of us.
Wow, I am surprised at how incredibly narrow this was. There is racism and lack of education in a surprisingly LARGE part of our nation, not simply “fly over country.” To generalize in such a way harms everyone.
You forgot the other (primary) drawback to clerking: The pay is not nearly what you get in Biglaw. If you have a full debt load ($160k+), the calculated IBR payments don’t even cover the interest. Once you tack on a the clerkship bonus, you still lose over $50k on the year, which basically means you’ll have to stay a year longer at the firm than you would have otherwise.
The pay issue cuts against your other point, though. $60k in “flyover land” (or Chicago, if you’re lucky enough) goes a heck of a lot further than $60k in the cesspool New Yorkers call home.
Wow, your advice is really profound, your perspective exceedingly deep, and it’s hard to detect any coastal pretentiousness. Having grown up with leftist tendencies and disdain for the GOP in one of these outcrops you describe, you more or less make me want to go back. Hey, that counts as successful therapy, doesn’t it??? That and the insightful advice about long-distance sexual encounters makes me thing you must charge up the whackadoodle for your services.
I am appalled at how narrow-minded and ignorant and elitist this piece of writing is. Now I’m sorry I bought your book. (Which, BTW, was just a collection of columns that I’d already read …) I hate that you have even a portion of my money.
How sad for you to have such a limited view of the country and what’s happening all over America. I pity you.
Love your column — just one request, please, please don’t call San Francisco “Frisco”! To us it is an immediate sign (fair or not) that someone is from fly-over country 🙂
fixed
San Fran is also unacceptable!
Aww…c’mon. Give an East Coaster a break.
i believe the only acceptable terms are “SF”, although i’ve only used it in text, “San Francisco”, and, if you’re a local, “the city”.
In the true spirit of this article, I must say we’re not inclined to give “breaks” for such cultural infractions!
fair enough
mccxxiii: Defensive much? 🙂 That’s a point he made in this column too.
I don’t think “defensive” means what you think it means. Charitably, I suppose the piece was an attempt at humor, but it unfortunately perpetuates a chauvinism that is no less unseemly than the kinds of chauvinism Will routinely criticizes.
Doug, I guess you’re new to this. What you will learn as you read more of Will’s columns are the following:
–all lawyers are miserable people
–some lawyers might seem happy, but that’s because they get off on making others miserable.
–everyone who disagrees with Will is secretly miserable/sadistic
–(new! learned today!) New Yorkers apparently would rather watch Helena Bonham Carter than football.
(Of course, you know that Will doesn’t *really* associate “New York” with “good”; he really only means Manhattan and really only means “below 96th Street”.)
Will, Your negativity never ceases to astound me. As if shitting on lawyers wasn’t enough, now you’re dumping on everyone who doesn’t live (a) between Washington DC and Boston or (b) SF/LA?
You should read this article by Mark Hermann [side note: best writer on ATL] http://abovethelaw.com/2012/01/inside-straight-learning-who-to-hate/ — when you draw from a skewed sample you get skewed results. Lawyers who are in a tough spot come to you, so you assume every lawyer is like them.
I’ve said it before: I work at a biglaw “sweatshop”, and I still have time to see my daughter, pursue various out-of-work-hobbies, see my family, etc. etc. If you didn’t have such tunnel vision you might realize it one day. Sorry your experience at S&C sucked. Don’t take it out on every other lawyer ever for the rest of your life.
Not in the least … I’m a “Coastie” myself, I just know it’s not the end-all and be-all of America.
Happen to live in one of the “fly-over” places, relocated from New York, and I love it. People are genuine and I have the ability to see seven different professional sports teams, go to the theater, the symphony or the opera, and go hiking in the Rocky Mountains. I have friends of all races, creeds and backgrounds and I wear cowboy boots and hats when I want. I have interesting, sophisticated and challenging work and, quite frankly, haven’t yet met anyone from the “Coasts” who can outmatch my experience. My salary stretches further here than it does for my colleagues on the “Coasts” so I can afford to visit anyplace I want in the world. In addition, I’m not afraid to let my children play outdoors without supervision.
This. Relocated from the east coast back to Denver recently myself. It always makes me laugh, but I’m content letting people from the coasts think it’s terrible and boring — more space for us.
“New Yorkers don’t rush to defend New York against detractors.”
Nope, they’re too busy pooping on everyone else.
As a clerk in the midwest, I have a suggestion: if you love the coast, and will detest this part of the country as much as the author suggests, don’t come here and take jobs away from those that want them. I grew up in the “flyover” state where I want to practice, went to law school in the state, took a clerkship in the state, and will join a large firm in the same state next year.
It saddens me to see judges jump at the opportunity to hire students from the coast just for the clerks to complain about moving here, flee work early every Friday to travel back to the coast, and grumble all year about the location or mundaneness of their job. There are people from these states that would like to take these jobs and will appreciate the ability to stay in their home state and gain valuable experience.
Word, my brother.
I’m surprised and more than a little disappointed at how offensive this piece is. It never ceases to amaze me how the same “progressive” individuals who bash conservatives for their discriminatory views are often the ones who do so in the most close-minded and bigoted ways. I guess you just support diversity – except diversity of opinion.
awesome article. except you forgot about clerkships in actual archipelagos. currently clerking in st. croix, usvi… could not be happier.
definitely interesting tensions, however, as a result of the incredible economic disparity that correllates almost directly to race.
It’s like your are here with me. Everything single thing you said draws reference to my current clerkship.
So you won’t cop to partisanship, but you feel perfectly comfortable being a patronizing self-satisfied ass. (And of course, you have preemptively accused anyone who might object of just being “profoundly” defensive. Good trick that.) Well I have lived and worked in big cities on both coasts, I went to law school in, and am now working as an appellate federal clerk in, a “flyover state.” I am certain that some of my peers comfort their egos with the thought that I am a local hired for “appearances,” but that has everything to do with their insecurities and nothing to do with my actual career success. It sounds to me like the clerks who complain to you are infected with the same elitist narrow-mindedness that you display here. But when you reflected the contents of that echo chamber into this post, you managed only to make yourself, and them, look spoiled and out of touch. If the clerks you counsel can’t manage to relate to the people, good and not so good, who live in the districts or circuits in which they work, then they suck at their job. The purpose of a law clerk is to assist the judge in deciding actual controversies, not merely to transport the latest tablets of blessed enlightenment from the hallowed halls of Yale and Harvard to the creeping heathen masses.
How about a remote island in the Pacific?
I heard the prosecutor’s office in American Samoa is hiring…
I’m kind of surprised at how harsh this was. I’ve always preferred city life and have bounced around several big cities, including SF, DC, and Chicago. But I’ve lived in and visited rural areas for years and the difference is really not so bad as you portray it. Obviously there are cultural differences and people do different things for fun, but you’re going way overboard.
This is literally the sort of post a rabid conservative would write in an “over the top” parody of an elitist coastal progressive. It comes off really mean-spirited. The reference to high art and Helena Bonham Carter made me think you actually were joking.
I guess I just expected you to be less judgmental. This really feels like a parody, even after finishing it.
You don’t have to approve of choices or share personal tastes with somebody to understand that they are still intelligent and thoughtful. Surprised how you managed to condemn racial prejudice while espousing such a thoroughgoing geographic prejudice.
Also, your editorial comment on PPACA is dissonant with the theme of the post. It’s strange that you want universal access to health care, when the main beneficiaries are not the wealthy urban coasts but the lower-middle-income areas in the rest of the country. The subsidy to buy insurance is a wealth transfer from rich people in NYC, LA and SF to middle class people in Des Moines and Arkadelphia.
If we really care about high culture, then we should want more money going to rich and tasteful consumers of art, and shorter lifespans for the hicks in the sticks, the flyover philistines, the red state rednecks, the backwater barbarians. That would be a major net increase in the officially approved sort of culture.
NL_, thanks for saying this so eloquently. I moved from “the last outpost of civilization” to being within spitting distance of San Francisco. I couldn’t believe any therapist would write such vitriol about millions of people and where they live.
Mr. Meyerhofer, please check your privilege and prejudices.
Since when does California — which passed Prop 8 with a significant majority — qualify as flyover country?
Wow. Just wow. I mean, I did my clerkship in what counts as a fly-over east coast town (for those anxious not to stop between DC and NYC), but c’mon. The hours are sweet (rarely even 12 hour days), the pay is sufficient (and if you’re living in podunk, ample even), and it’s a rare opportunity in so many ways. You might even call it character-building – how can liberals claim to know anything until they know how others live? Is it so terrible for people to see, for a year, what it’s like not to live in NYC/SF/LA? That maybe it’s actually doable, especially if they want to buy a house and maybe leave their biglaw career someday?
For someone who does a good job bashing biglaw all the time (and downright encouraging people to leave), you’ve done a pretty good job at bashing a perfectly lovely legal option (and one that, literally, thousands of people would happily take up if some snotty Yale/NYU kid can’t bear not to be in a “real city” for a year).
Are you ever positive about anything? Or maybe your clients – where you seem to get your stories – are really just insufferable. It’s clients like yours that make judges like mine only want to hire local applicants – they know what they’re getting into, and won’t go whining about how awful their life is all year. It does everyone who is actually interested in having a diversity of experience a disservice.
I hope this article was a joke. If it wasn’t, when it comes to bigotry and intolerance, Mr. Meyerhofer needs to look in the mirror.
In fairness, most clerkships are in fairly major cities, and it’s pretty easy to avoid somewhere you hate by just not applying. Given that it’s only a year, it’s hard to imagine someone being *that* miserable in a job they willing signed up for, just because they’re not thrilled with the location. Time to get a hobby! Or two (one indoor, one outdoor).
For anyone thinking about applying for clerkships, check out my extremely extensive (if I do say so myself) guide to the topic: http://thegirlsguidetolawschool.com/get-a-lawjob/federal-judicial-clerkship-application/.
And don’t apply some place you’d hate to live!
@LTL: it appears that one of your “various out-of-work-hobbies” is reading Will’s columns and then writing negative comments about them. Fascinating behavior for such a well-adjusted big law attorney. Just sayin’…
Nah, s/he just has to constantly have the last word on everything. Which means s/he must be totally at home in Biglaw.
There is no provincialism so blatant as that of the metropolitan who lacks urbanity.
To clerk is a privilege, as is being welcomed into the local community, whether it is rural or urban. Lawyers closed off to this experience should definitely not apply for the clerkship in the first place.
Wow, what an insanely classist, elitist line of unreadable bull. I would have expected better from someone who bitches so much about intolerance in others. You don’t want to live anywhere but NYC, fine. Don’t. But don’t act like you know what the Midwest is about because you so clearly don’t. I think at this point, I’m done with the People’s Therapist.
“New Yorkers don’t rush to defend New York against detractors.”
Um, usn’t isn’t that disproved by your need to write this column?
Having lives in major cities and in places too small to mention, you have to adapt. If you are in the Appalachians, you have wonderful mountain and forest nearby. Pining for opera will do you no good. Go hiking and camping. Try hunting. The surest plug-in for social life is a church. Are you in a fishing place? Then fish.
Despite what our therapist says, it is possible to live in a place without being wildly judgmental about it. Worry about keeping your side of the street clean.
Will: I usually really enjoy your column, but your narrow-minded stereotyping of “flyover country” in this post is just lazy and small minded (and tells me a bit about you that I wish I didn’t know).
Also, I did a circuit clerkship in SF and worked harder (more hours, more intensity) that year than I ever worked in my large firm job. Not a complaint, just a correction to the only non-offensive generalization you made in this post.
Okay – lots of fun comments. Out of curiosity, guys – does anyone have an actual inaccuracy in this piece to report…or is it just “let’s take umbrage and insult Will week?”
This is truly astonishing, essentially profferring the lame rationalization that “it’s all true, though, right?”
“But blacks really do commit more crimes, don’t they?”
“But gays really are pedophiles, aren’t they?”
“But women really aren’t cut out for the business world, right?”
The article is rife with stereotypes that are so patently inaccurate that they hardly need to be pointed out. You surely know that there is more to do at home than watch football, that many women actually know quite a lot about evolution, and that many are more than familiar with Helena Bonham Carter. It goes on and on – and it is needlessly insulting.
Last I checked, football was like a religion in these regions (the universities spend more money on it than academics), evolution was under attack in the schools and would you like to try finding an independent film showing at a multiplex in the American hinterland? C’mon…you can do better than that. Find an inaccuracy. Bring it to my attention. Please.
“A clerkship in the land of Wal-marts and trailer parks, whatever else it entails, spells one year without your spouse, life-partner, steady friend with benefits or whatever. Whomever you’re with – if you’re traveling to Lubbock, Sioux Falls or Tupelo – they’re probably staying home.”
Because you are grossly sterotyping and engaging in demagoguery. It is about as disgusting as a “flyover” resident telling someone not to go live in New York because it is the land of minicing queers, hipsters, and gang bangers.
An astonishing number of Americans live in trailer parks. Go anywhere in the hinterland – and you will find Americans living in houses with wheels. That’s not a stereotype – it is a reality, just like poverty, which is also a reality in this country.
Walmart had created the wealthiest family in the entire world by systematically killing the downtowns of burgs all over the USA and putting small business owners out of business. Find me a town in this country which hasn’t been decimated by the opening of a Wal-mart.
Inaccuracies? C’mon, people. Bring it.
Because the fact that Wal-marts and trailer parks exist does not sum up the whole, any more than the fact that large cities have slums makes them gang infested hellholes.
In any event, I’m not sure why trailer parks and Wal-marts are even an unqualified problem. Yes, flyover country has higher and lower income and housing and shopping. Having lived in several large cities, I’ve seen my share of public housing, boarded up buildings, and people begging for drug money. When my friends from the small town where I grew up ask my opinion on life in the “big city,” I don’t describe it the land of slums and drug addicts.
Do you deny that large cities have gang problems and crime? I would hope not. But I would hope you would also not use that as your leading qualifier for describing large cities. In fact, you don’t – even though cities have those features, you choose to describe the museums, opera, etc.
The rest is suburban sprawl, no? A geography of nowhere (in the words of James Kunstler). Endless feeder roads leading to malls and strip malls and suburban housing developments (the nice ones are gated and meticulously sorted by socioeconomic status.) Please admit this truth: most of the time in the USA, amid the wall-to-wall franchise stores and endless malls, you can’t really tell where in the country you are. Maybe, if there’s a mountain, you might think – oh, this must be Colorado. That’s about it.
Here’s your town that hasn’t been decimated by the opening of a WalMart, Will. Brattleboro, Vermont. (Yes, the WalMart opened across the river in Hinsdale, NH. But less than 1/4 mile away from the center of town, so it counts.)
Sure, I’ll bite:
“[Clerking,] you get to work non-law firm hours for a year…you’re not putting in weekends, and thanks to the court calendar, there are slow times built into the schedule.”
– Wrong. I worked almost every weekend for a year in my circuit clerkship and many holidays including half of Thanksgiving day. Thanks to the very active en banc process at my court, I laugh at the thought of “slow times”.
“Don’t underestimate the effect of a long distance separation on a relationship.”
– In the interest of fairness, I want to point out your sole 100% accurate statement.
“There’s no downtown in these places. Back in the 70′s and 80′s, the white people fled to the suburbs, along with the jobs.”
– This is simply inaccurate in the medium sized (population around 500k) Midwestern towns I know. Nobody lived downtown and then fled to the suburbs in the 70s and 80s. These towns are too small to really have suburbs anyway. You can get from one end of town to the other in 15 minutes max!
“That’s what’s there [(“downtown”)] nowadays – a few skyscrapers, a football stadium and forty acres of parking lot.”
– Immediately thinking of Tulsa and Wichita, there are no post-slum-bulldozing skyscapers and no football stadiums downtown. There are, however, museums and performing arts centers.
“Other than watching tv, there is exactly one extra-curricular activity available in your new home – watching football. Opera, classical music, modern dance, ballet, jazz, theater, galleries, lectures, readings, art museums – those pastimes are reserved for communists and homosexuals.”
– This just couldn’t be more wrong. I grew up in one of these towns around the arts. Sure, I didn’t get to see Kennedy Center performances, but I experienced countless symphonies, museums, science centers, jazz and dance performances, and musical theater performances. And I wasn’t to my knowledge “palling around” with any communists or homosexuals (not that there’s anything wrong with them).
“No one – no one – will know who Helena Bonham Carter is.”
– My dad–who has never lived out of the Midwest and rarely travels–does. Since you said definitively not a single person would know who she is, I need not go further to prove this statement wrong.
“[T]he classic trademark of people who live someplace no one else wants to: profound defensiveness. … But if you’re from East Bumptruck, you’ll tackle anyone to the ground who so much as hints he might not like it there.”
– I am from East Bumptruck and I choose not to live there because, in the balance, I prefer the coastal lifestyle. I don’t mind if people who actually know what they are talking about have thoughtful criticism of the Midwest. You just made a bunch of lazy and insulting generalizations.
Okay – you’re the first clerk I’ve met who’s worked a weekend – congrats. You’re the exception!
The downtowns were killed by Wal-mart. You didn’t notice? All those empty stores lining Main Street, USA? C’mon – even in New England, the towns are dead dead dead.
I’m thrilled that Tulsa and Wichita have somehow avoided the downtown football stadium scourge (see Saint Louis for an example of a city that didn’t.) As for arts centers – I didn’t say they didn’t exist – I said they were the exclusive reserve of communists and homosexuals. What I meant is that your average denizen, if he’s ever set foot in one of those places, was either taking his kid to see the Nutcracker at Christmas or listening to Kenny G live. He’d rather be watching football. You know that’s true.
It is heartening that your father breaks the mold, and has actually seen an independent film. Bless his soul. Perhaps there is a single person out there in the “real” America who knows who Helena Bonham Carter is. That makes me happy.
W
Samantha, excellent post.
As someone who also grew up in the Midwest before moving on to bigger cities on both coasts I totally join you in expressing my annoyance with the whole thrust of Will’s column today and his stubbornness in the comments section. I mean he’s basically conceding that New England small towns also fall into his flyover category too… and presumably upstate New York, Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia, and the rest of the Mid-Atlantic, South, and Mountain states. It’s just such a needlessly dickheaded stance to take. In what social circles is knowledge Helena Bonham Carter some goddamned cultural gold standard anyway?
Okay – this is a silly post in many respect, and yes, it applies equally to plenty of the USA (and perhaps lots of other places). I concede.
I think you missed the point of the comment about the arts in small cities. Like in coastal cities, there are different types of people. Many people in the middle of America of no interest in football, but love the arts. Many people in NYC much prefer football, have no interest in the arts, and have never been to the Met or to see the NY Phil. In the vast majority of places, you will find people who share your interests and values if you look for them. This holds true in NYC and in the middle of nowhere (I’ve lived in both places).
This is the first time I’ve ever visited your blog, and as a “big firm” lawyer in Wichita, Kansas, I doubt I’ll be back. But, since you kindly asked for examples of where you went wrong and then specifically insisted that you independent films have no place in the midwest, I wanted to point you to this website: http://www.tallgrassfilmfest.com/
If you choose to go to the website, you will find information on the annual film festival held in Wichita every year (where many independent films are shown).
Additionally, you insisted that these places in flyover country have no downtown night life. Here is link to the Wichita downtown district website. http://www.downtownwichita.org/index.php
I promise you that it is definitely not as happening as New York city, but we do have First Friday’s with live music (for free) at local bars and Final Fridays at the various art museums (yes, they too exist). There are people on the street playing drums and others playing with fire. There is a free trolly that takes people from bar to bar.
Wichita has music theater, opera, and ballet. There are also air shows, farmers’ markets, bike races, concerts, etc. Generally, what you would expect to find in a big city.
If you don’t like the midwest, that’s completely fine. But maybe you should actually visit a city and see what it has before you blog about what its missing.
Okay Rachel – I admit, I’m impressed by your persistence in standing up for good ol’ Wichita. And you’ve found me out. I (somewhat unfairly) used it as a stand-in for a whole bunch of other small cities in the heartland. Please understand – if I dare to mention a city where one of my clerk clients actually lives – or lived – I risk freaking someone out…so poor Wichita came under fire (no one I’ve worked with has ever clerked there, at least to my knowledge.) I guess I just liked the name. Glad to hear it’s a bit more hopping than I’d imagined – and thanks for reading and writing in.
“Glad to hear it’s a bit more hopping than I’d imagined” -thepeoplestherapist
And THERE we have the crux of your problem. Reading a few books and the news and pretending that you “know” the rest of the country is the sheer height of arrogance. Secondhand accounts don’t count either. How about you take some time and actually travel the flyover before making broad generalizations. It’s not all “trailers, Walmarts, suburban sprawl, and football”.
-Someone who was raised on the coast but actually had the privilege of visiting many of the middle states
side note: granted it’s ONE person’s experience, but i have dealt with more racism and discrimination in the coastal cities than i have ever in the middle states. and by this point, i have spent roughly equal amounts of time between the regions.
extra side note: Helena Bonham Carter? Really?? You’re going to use an actress who has starred in major motion pictures (Harry Potter, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeney Todd, I’m sure I’m forgetting something) to make your absurd point?
Yeah – a lot of British character actors come over to do, yes, character roles in American fantasy films. Forgot about that. I still wonder if they actually know who she is – other than the (usually ridiculous) character she’s playing. It’s not like they’re seeing her in a romantic lead, is it?
You really are taking this piece awfully seriously, aren’t you? That’s fine – but how about we talk about the real issues here. Sprawl development. The absence of culture leaving a void filled by endless football and tv. The casual apartheid Americans have come to accept in the hinterlands (but which is at least addressed to some degree by a simple ride on the subway in New York City.) That stuff.
“It’s not like they’re seeing her in a romantic lead, is it?”
-Well that’s not really the fault of hinterland people now is it? Hollywood execs make those decisions.
“You really are taking this piece awfully seriously, aren’t you?”
-I initially assumed you were satirizing, but then I saw the comments and your responses; it appeared otherwise. I have no personal stake in this argument. I grew up in the heart of LA and have no family ties to the middle land. But your comments stating that what you said in the article was inherently “true” were what I had trouble with. Broad generalizations, especially when it is not really clear you were aiming for humor, are counterproductive if you meant to point out the “problems” of the middle states. It simply gives people fuel to charge coastal progressives as “elitists”, which is precisely what happened.
“That’s fine – but how about we talk about the real issues here. Sprawl development. The absence of culture leaving a void filled by endless football and tv.”
-See when you bring up sprawl, your argument gets confusing. There is no place with worse “sprawl devleopment” than the greater LA metro area and Southern California in general. You can have urban sprawl as well as suburban sprawl. There’s plenty of sprawl on the coasts as well as the middle, so I don’t get your point. Your agrument seems to be more about urban vs. suburban living.
“The casual apartheid Americans have come to accept in the hinterlands (but which is at least addressed to some degree by a simple ride on the subway in New York City.) That stuff.”
-You praise the diversity found in Queens and yet you mention in your article that the furthest you’re willing to venture is Brooklyn. Are the other boroughs and Jersey filled with lepers? You rely on the demographic numbers to emphasize coastal cosmopolitanism, but you don’t really make an effort to take advantage of that diversity, do you? I see this all the time in West LA as well. People segregate themselves and those that venture downtown for work wouldn’t go there for much else (or South or East LA for that matter).
You talk about this “absence of culture” but there’s plenty of that to be found in these hinterland areas. Your definition of culture includes “opera, classical music, modern dance, ballet, jazz, theater, galleries, lectures, readings, art museums”, but that’s not all-encompassing. But you can find this in the middle anyways. Obviously it’s harder in the townships/villages, small towns, but that doesn’t mean they’re devoid of “culture”. You can find plenty of film festivals and independent film screenings, granted they might not cover everything and you might have to travel a little to get to one. They also have festivals/celebrations and other misc. events specific to their own town/small city.
I’m not sure if your joking generalizations were from a bad experience or two, but I hope you don’t give up on the entire area because of a few bad apples. Anyways, that was an excessive spiel. It was definitely a good discussion. Look forward to reading your other posts.
Okay, you win. LA counts as “the hinterland.” I was just trying to be nice.
Let’s face it – anyplace other than NYC is probably a little dicey.
(Yes, I’m joking…)
Will, there’s a new sociology book called “Coming Apart” that I recommend you read thoroughly. By the way, there are significant advantages to living in what some call “flyover country.” Some of these include clean air, short commutes, a lower cost of living, friendlier people, and a less hectic pace of life. And as a fellow Democrat, I would recommend against the language you use in this article. These sorts of comments get us in trouble and hinder the electoral chances of our candidates.
Will, it’s time to put the politics down and walk away from them for a bit. You’re becoming overly obsessed. I agree with everything you wrote, but I can also tell you that people don’t want to read stuff like this any more than patients want to sit and listen to you complain about politics during their sessions (they don’t).
If there’s one lesson I’ve learned in Biglaw, it’s that no one really cares what anyone other than themselves thinks.
Will,
Usually like your columns but you have to get out of your bubble more often — your column shows a huge lack of sophistication
Why, precisely? Why does it show a huge lack of sophistication? Because I take the “real America” to task for its serious problems?
Just wondering.
But that’s not what you did – not even close to what you did. What is troubling is that you obstinately fail to recognize the bigotry and elitism in what you did wrote, even after it is pointed out.
People may have expressed their views strongly, but you must have expected that when you presented something so inflammatory. They took time out of their day to come to your site, to read what you wrote, and to comment. Their views deserve more serious reflection than knee-jerk defensiveness.
Look, Zach – I’m writing satire here, and yes, I’m employing hyperbole to make a point. It’s all intended to be comic, and to speak a few forbidden truths in the process. That’s it. That’s my job. I think I did just that – and the response I got bears out many of the points I made. I’m poking fun at small American cities because they deserve to be made fun of, just like everyone else. And yes, if you’re coming from LA or NYC, you’re in for one hell of a culture shock – which is what I listen to each week from clerks posted in the hinterlands. So that’s what I wrote about this week.
Thank you, Zach. You are very eloquent. Mr. Meyerhofer, I am going to try to re-frame this.
You mention culture-shock. Like I said above, I moved from “the last outpost of civilization” to within spitting distance of San Francisco. For the first 6 years, I hated it. I was suffering from culture shock. My new home was “too crowded”, “overbuilt”, and “full of traffic jams.” The people were “shallow”, “rude”, and “uncaring.” The events and festivals were “impossible to get to” and “violent.” I was ridiculed for cheering on my hometown football team.
So many people told me that it’s the best place in the world and “why would anyone want to live anywhere else?”–indeed most of them hadn’t. That’s a very isolating thing to hear as an immigrant.
Could it be that you and your clients suffer culture shock when visiting flyover country?
I realized I hadn’t completed my thought.
I think it might have been better to frame this posting about dealing with culture shock and using your clerks as examples of people suffering from culture shock.
I think if a midwesterner came to you for ways to deal with culture shock resulting from a move to NYC, you’d tell them to get out of the house, explore the city, meet as many people as possible, and to not judge NYC based on a few negative experiences. Likewise, instead of advising New Yorkers to hole up with books and movies, advise them to emulate MLB, below.
KP, this is an interesting approach that I would more have enjoyed reading. I immigrated to the US when I was about 25 years old, and there is wisdom in the old adage, “When in Rome ….”
Manhattan was a huge culture shock when I moved there, but there is a depth of genuine caring among people that is often missed by focusing on the superficial bustle that gives New Yorkers their reputation as being among the rudest people on the planet. It’s only when you accept the prevailing culture and begin to understand it that it’s really possible to enjoy and benefit from the deeper bonds that exist there.
The “hinterlands” where I live now are similar. The culture here is different than anywhere else I’ve lived and it’s only by accepting it and becoming part of it that the depth of what it offers becomes visible. No culture is “better” than another, and while “flyover country” can often superficially seem to be unsophisticated, it really isn’t – no more so than New Yorkers are rude. The people here, like people the world over, have the same depth, the same underlying concerns about life, and the same visceral needs. They may approach those issues differently, shaped by the culture in which they exist, but, really, people are pretty much, well … people. No matter where they live.
I agree completely. I was surprised by the vehemence of the response to this piece, but I think it reflects cultural differences. I’m a New Yorker – I say outrageous things without hesitation – I’m in your face…and half the time I’m making fun of myself in the process. But that approach – that way of spinning things – doesn’t seem to fly in the hinterlands. I’m amazed that this piece was taken so seriously – and that the strong element of self-satire (the ridiculous narrator who won’t leave Manhattan and judges sophistication by knowledge of Helena Bonham-Carter!) wasn’t obvious to all readers. I really was just kidding, guys – venting a little vicarious frustration for all those exiled coastal clerks out there. I come in peace. I mean no harm. Sorry for the bruised feelings. And trust me, it’s hard to be on the receiving end of all these comments (much of which amount to name-calling) and not grow defensive. At any rate, it’s been a useful and interesting conversation and one hell of a learning experience. Thanks for writing in with such thoughtful stuff.
Wait, WHAT?? Your blog is now satire? Dude, I have never seen a human being who takes himself more seriously than you do.
When Stephen Colbert is done with Colbert Report, I really really really hope he moves on to satirizing you. Because THAT would satire. And it would be funny as hell.
If you are being serious, then I feel bad for your clients. Who would knowingly pay a spiteful and insecure player hater to help keep them mired in self pity? Do you need to work this hard to find a reason this flimsy to hate on lawyers fortunate enough to land a clerkship?
All of your columns give off the odor of someone who really resents flopping in the profession they chose for themselves, but this reeks. It may not have worked out for you, and that’s not your fault. But neither is your failure and unhappiness any reflection on the lucky few for whom law has been a success. Get over it, and move on to something productive that you enjoy, or at least have an aptitude for.
And by the way, the foregoing is probably better advice for disgruntled lawyers than nearly anything I’ve seen on this blog.
As for your cultural elitism, you still seem mired in the NYC/LA BigLaw mindset you are so fond of disdaining. Bear in mind that those of us born in the great majority of the country did not choose it, and that not everyone was lucky enough to be born into a family with either the resources or education to provide us a way out. You appear to take your life’s many advantages for granted, and betray yourself as both ignorant of what other people have and ungrateful for what you have.
P.S. – Since you insist on name dropping Haaavard, NYU Law, and Sullivan & Cromwell (although, clearly, you’re over the whole prestige obsession thing), I expect that you have trouble evaluating what people say without knowing their, ahem, pedigree. Well, I speak from experience: I am a native Midwesterner from a family of modest means, attended a mediocre law school, crushed it, and lined up an SDNY clerkship and a T-5 offer afterwards.
In short, I find everything you’ve said here, and most of what you say generally, insulting and a little pathetic. I hope your therapist has more perspective than you do.
P.P.S. — You’re asking for inaccuracies?! I’m sorry, do your clients pay you to be a journalist? Do they pay your for your intensive factual knowledge about “life in America”? Or do they pay you to have perspective and make them feel less miserable?
As for inaccuracies, your assessment of life in the Midwest and South (my experience) is inaccurate. Medium sized cities, which host federal district and appellate courts (Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Lexington, Atlanta, Nashville, Detroit, the list goes on) have cultural institutions. I watched Wings of the Dove in high school and fell in love with Helena Bonham Carter — although that’s a pretty comically stupid example, given that she’s been in the last four Harry Potter movies. And Federal clerks work plenty of weekends, as I think others have pointed out. Oi vey!
Haha, ironically enough, you have made me feel better about myself! Thanks, Will!
I don’t name drop the schools I attended – they’re simply the schools I attended.
I find your comment insulting – well, it is meant to be insulting, no? I also find it a bit pathetic.
My point about the violent defensiveness? Well…
Haha “defensiveness.” Here’s a hint Will: mature people don’t end up arguing about the content of their character with anonymous internet personalities. Clearly you are no more cut out to be in a position requiring trust and some degree of wisdom (therapy) than you were in law (which I suppose might require neither). And clearly, you are the defensive one here.
You are also likely an envious, miserably lonely, and arrogant human being in desperate need of the services you purport to provide. I suspect the reason you like to name-drop Harvard, S&C, etc. is that despite the ruin they led you to, you still look to them as one of your few sources of validation and worth. Stop doing that, start trying to just value yourself regardless of what a shithead you are, and then ffs stop posting depressing shit all over the internet.
Signed,
Somebody who linked here from ATL and who will try to avoid that mistake in the future.
Here’s a hint, oh mature person – you have to be in pretty bad shape to write something as nasty as that comment. Let’s go easy on the name-calling, please?
Oh, and if you take the time to read my first book, you will understand why your discharge of aggression and unconscious sadism towards me was gratifying. It’ll walk you through the evolutionary roots of such behavior – and explain why it might help you to relieve depression.
Initially, I reacted negatively to your post. I have traveled for my job all over the state of Texas, and my general belief is that people here are about as nice as they come. I also believe that even in the smallest towns, you will find people who are nice, and cool, and will surprise you. Upon further reflection, though, I did remember a few times when I was in towns where I felt out of place. For instance, I spent some time in Amarillo, and I remember feeling out of place all the time. One time, I was supposed to have lunch with a male attorney–I’m female–and he abruptly informed me that he was canceling the lunch because another person had dropped out, and he did not, “do one chick lunches.” Had he cheated on his wife? Was there some strange rule in their marriage? I don’t know, but it’s going to be hard to get work done if you can never be alone with the opposite gender. Another time, I was escorted to a Republican luncheon, despite having very moderate views, which looking back was inappropriate. (I was young at the time and didn’t object much). I sat next to someone in the beef industry who angrily asked me why I was not eating beef, and I had to inform them I was a vegetarian, which led to much awkwardness. So, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, etc. are one thing…but the tiny, more conservative places may in fact be difficult for a lot of people. My advice is to see if you feel awkward. Don’t let your rationality convince you that you can overcome it–“that one person seemed okay”, etc.. If you feel awkward when you first go, it will in all likelihood be awkward and you will have to decide if you can cope.
Well said and for the most part, true. Your detractors probably still live in the fly-over zone. I’m glad you have my money for your books.
As a long-time reader, I wanted to let you know I’m not reading you anymore. You’ve always been a one-trick pony, albeit a smart and creative one. Your message, although repetitive, has always served to make me grateful for not choosing to practice law in a huge city. Instead, I moved to Central Florida, took a clerkship, then began working at a large firm where I’ve been very happy.
I initially thought you were trying to be funny. Then, your column struck me as a Jay Mariotti (he writes about football) piece designed to elicit yelling. If so, joke’s on me for writing my first-ever comment on your site.
From your subsequent comments, though, I’ve concluded this piece is just mean and small-minded. Be honest – no amount of factual rebuttal is going to change your mind about over 99% of the country in which you live, and that’s the saddest takeaway I have from this column. You think that living in New York City and working as anything but a BigLaw attorney is the height of evolution (a scientific theory in which, incidentally, I totally believe). And that’s fine. What’s hateful is you that you seem to believe happiness and intellectual fulfillment is a one-size and one-place fits-all concept. That’s a dangerous mindset for anybody, but it’s a horrible one for a therapist.
I appreciate your kind words. Have a nice day.
For someone who wants his lifestyle to be tolerated by others, you show a surprising lack of tolerance towards others.
Honey, I’ve been to the “real” America as an out gay man, and you can rest assured I didn’t feel tolerated – I didn’t even feel safe. That’s not something I’m prepared – as a first-class American citizen – to tolerate, any more than I’ll tolerate being asked NOT to tell the truth, as I see it, about my own country.
Oh Will. I bet you wish you could hit the “Reset” button on this last article. I’ve read maybe 8-10 of your articles and had a lot of respect for you and your opinions. However, this article made me (sadly) see your true colors. You are essentially the left’s version of a Sarah Palin-loving tea bagger. However, unlike many of them, you make no effort to hide your bigotry. You know what you wrote was wrong and mean-spirited and elitist and whatever else, so just admit it and move on. At least that would show some character. At the very least, stop trying to defend this article because it makes you look desperate and sad.
Oh, give it a rest. Everything in that piece is accurate – or as accurate as it has to be in a broad satire – and I’m getting tired of having my assessment of hicks’ ferocious insecurity about their hometowns proven over and over again into the ground. You – comment troll – whoever you are, have proven yourself mean-spirited and sad and elitist and desperate etc etc and if you don’t want to read this blog go elsewhere, okay? Amazing that not one person – not one of the commenters – even the sane ones – tackled the race issue. Just a bunch of “don’t hate the Mid-West we have arts centers!” Disappointing.
Ummmm, how exactly have I “proven” myself “mean-spirited and sad and elitist and desperate etc etc”? You literally just resorted to the old third-grade standby of “I know you are, but what am I?”
I’m not sure what to say about the “race issue,” except that there are bigots in the midwest, just as there are everywhere else. Are some of those biggots racist? Absolutely. But, having grown up in the midwest, I can honestly tell you that the majority of people I know/have known are not. But I wouldn’t expect my honeest opinion to have any effect on yours.
I can tell you that maybe you should check out the histories of some of the states you are commenting on. For instance, in 1839 the Iowa Supreme Court refused to allow slavery in the state, holding that the state constitution must be read to extend equal protection to all persons, regardless of race. Iowa also tackled the issue of segregation long before the U.S. Supreme Court. Obviously, the Iowa Supreme Court from many years ago doesn’t speak to the prejudices of people today, but it is an interesting look how Iowa and race.
I lived in the state of Iowa for 26 years and found it to be a very tolerant place, where the majority of people (especially the people found in the cities in the state) are open to hearing other opinions on all issues. People have lively debates about things such as gay marriage (which is legal in Iowa and has been since 2009), abortion, religion, politics, etc., and rarely do people devolve into name calling or insults.
It is my personal opinion that people believe a majority of those in the midwest are racist merely because there isn’t a lot of diversity in the midwest. It’s true. There isn’t a lot of diversity in the midwest. That doesn’t make the people there racist, just that they aren’t exposed to different cultures.
You responded to my comment above in a very respectful way, but I still feel like you are missing the point that commenters are trying to make. I pointed out to you the various wonderful things about Wichita, but what you seem to ignore is that all of the cities have good (or even great) qualities. If your clients can’t find anything to do and are upset, that’s unfortunate, but that hardly means that everyone would be miserable in the same town or city.
I think it is great that you love the place where you live. When people from the midwest push back against commentary about the midwest like you’ve written, it’s because they love their home too. They don’t deserve to be looked down on because it’s not where you would choose to live your life.
Oh, and as a side note re: how no one in the midwest likes theater/ballet/opera, my dad, who has been a construction worker for 35 years, grew up on a farm, looks like a big fat grizzly bear has never watched a sporting event in his adult life but requests tickets to a Broadway musical every year for his birthday & christmas. Anecdotal, I know, but I find it endeering.
I’m not sure the term “racist” makes any sense anymore. The question isn’t being “racist” – we’re all “racist” to the degree we notice race – which itself is a construct, as the issue is really ethnicity.
I’m talking about the separation of people in this country based upon class and wealth and ethnicity. How we all seem to take that for granted. In the big coastal cities, at least we’re all shoved together in a tight space – no gated communities in NYC, at least not explicitly gated. It feels like a lot of bad stuff has become unconscious – under the radar. Like all those African-American men in our prisons.
I agree, the separation of people based upon class, ethnicity, wealth, etc. is a huge problem in this country, but it isn’t a problem specific to “fly-over” country. Additionally, you may not have “gated-communities” in New York, but you certainly have locked buildings with nice apartments and doormen who keep the “others” out, do you not? And you can’t honestly state that there aren’t communities in New York that are richer or poorer or seem to attract certain ethnicities or have higher or lower crime rates? Every area of this great country has integration issues. Just because those issues look different in the midwest than they do in New York doesn’t mean one group of people is doing it wrong and one is doing it right; in fact, we’re probably all doing it wrong.
I’d like to agree with you, but that’s a little too facile. Queens, in New York City, is the most ethnically diverse place on the entire globe. And, with the higher density in cities like New York, we are forced to interact in a way that doesn’t happen out in the heartland. There are differences.
Is ethnic diversity the only type of diversity that matters? Personally, I think class diversity, political diversity, religious diversity, educational diversity, and all other forms of diversity are important as well.
And you are correct, in a dense city like New York, you are bound to see people who are different from you on a daily basis. But seeing them isn’t the same as interacting. Bumping into them isn’t even the same as interacting. Just because the city is diverse and dense, does that mean you are forced to carry on conversations with people who are different from you? Forced to learn about them and their life experiences? Just as there are stereotypes about the midwest, there are ones for New York as well. New Yorkers aren’t exactly known for their kindness to strangers. I’ve been to New York, and there were New Yorkers who were kind to me, but overall most just look past me like I didn’t exist. That isn’t interaction.
In the midwest, when a neighbor faces harship, other neighbors jump in to help. Recently I read an article where a farmer was unable to harvest his crop because of a heart attack. In one day, five or six neighbors gave up harvisting their crops and instead got all of his fields finished. When my aunt was diagnosed with cancer, my family hosted a benefit in our small hometown of 500 people. Hundreds of businesses donated items for a silent auction, hundreds of people attended, and well over $15,000.00 was raised to help cover her medical expenses. When Iowa suffered severe flooding in 2008, people came out in droves to help sandbag others’ homes and businesses, and when that didn’t work, to help clean up the mess for complete strangers.
Feel free to think what you want about the midwest and the people who reside there, but if you ever actually want to take the time to learn what people here are actually like, how they treat friends and strangers, feel free to come and visit. I’ll even guide you around the lovely city of Wichita.
You showed me (sadly) your true colors by insulting me in the most hostile, degrading way you could manage – in a comment otherwise devoid of content. A string of adjectives is bad writing – it’s also not an argument. Sorry. You merely came off as desperate and sad. : (
What exactly was the insult? Comparing you to tea baggers? Saying that you don’t try to hide your bigotry? Implying therein that you are a bigot? According to the glorious wikipedia, a “bigot” is someone who is “obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one exhibiting intolerance, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.” This definition absolutely describes both your article and, even more convincingly, your responses to comments from those who actually have experience living in Not NY/LA. Also, are you really going to stick to the third-grade parroting technique even after I’ve called you out on it? Really?
Yeah – that was the insult. Calling me a bigot. That bothered me, as well as your exhibiting intolerance and animosity towards those of differing beliefs, namely, me. Now run along and I’ll have another column for you next week, okay?
Guilty as charged. I chronically exhibit intolerance and animosity toward bigots. No thanks, I’m booked next week.
I chronically exhibit intolerance and animosity towards bigots, too. I guess we’re going to get along after all.
What? Are our flyover gays not well enough groomed and cultured for the Coasties? Do we not have florists? Do we not wax?
Brilliant! As a lawyer who grew up in Louisiana (double whammy: deep south fly-over) and vowed to escape and has never looked back (except for comical holiday visits), I found this piece insightful and hilarious. It’s funny ’cause it’s true, folks. My entire family and some of my dearest friends still live there, and some of them are even happy about it, but I could not be more thankful for my coastal perspective (even if it is at the price of big law servitude)! Thank you, Will, for my weekly breath of fresh air 🙂
“That’s not something I’m prepared – as a first-class American citizen – to tolerate, any more than I’ll tolerate being asked NOT to tell the truth, as I see it, about my own country.”
If you wouldn’t mind, a little clarification on why you describe yourself as first class?
Well…for starters, are you allowed to get married? I’m lucky – my partner’s employer permits me to get health insurance on his plan. But of course, we’re not first-class citizens, so we can’t get married under federal law and that’s costing us $6,000/year for my health insurance. That sucks.
Will, Will, Will. I never do understand that line of argument. You “can’t get married under federal law”? Sure you can. You guys just have to follow the rules like everybody else. I can’t marry my cat, no matter how much I love her. Rules say to get married, I have to find a woman willing to marry me. I can’t even marry a woman unwilling to marry me! Everybody else has to choose a person of the opposite sex to marry. Just because you have your inclinations and desires, why does that make you any less human or incapable of entering marriage just like everybody else?
That’s the reality for most of my gay clients who need green cards – nearly all of them end up in sham marriages eventually. There’s no other way. Immigrants are already demonized in this country – but a gay immigrant? The hate is as overwhelming as the ignorance. Luckily Mitt Romney’s even more pro-gay than Teddy Kennedy…oh, oops, that was back when he was running for Senate. Now he hates gays again – I guess he needs that heartland vote.
My guess would be that gay people have been historically relegated to second class status in this society, and you assert that you, as a gay man, will accept nothing less than first class status.
I’m not trying to bait you. I submit the possibility that any perceived mistreatment you may have felt in the “real” America may have been less a result of being gay and more about the projection of an attitude, conscious or not, that you believed yourself to be superior due to your education and provenance.
Oh, okay. So the kids in the passing car screaming “Faggot!” and throwing beer bottles at us were doing so because I was “projecting an attitude”? The violence leading to the deaths of trans people – hundreds of them – each year is probably because they’re “projecting an attitude” – just like those gay teenagers in middle America who are committing suicide after being bullied in their schools, where, no doubt, they were “projecting an attitude.” Maybe “projecting an attitude” amounts to demanding equal rights as a citizen.
I am sorry that you were abused. No one should be mistreated or made to feel unsafe. And I am glad you can afford health insurance. I wish I could.
I wish healthcare came with citizenship, the way it does in all the other advanced countries.
Good points Classy Cathy. Another factor in this guys “attitude” (extreme hatred for poor and working class Whites in fly over states) is the Jewish concept of being:
one of God’s Chosen People.
All of the other people who are not God’s Chosen People are considered to be Goyim – which translates best as “cattle”.
Most people don’t like being considered or treated like cattle – so it’s pretty obvious that this guy is going to make a lot of enemies and the fault of course is always with everyone else, never him – as he is morally and intellectually superior to everyone who is not one of…
God’s Chosen People.
Seriously? As another out lawyer who has clerked and worked in rural and “flyover” America, this post’s perspective seems a bit myopic and perhaps generationally dated (I’m a good decade or so younger than Will). I get it–coastal cities are awesome (I’m from one and live in one now), blue states treat us better politically, and safety is important. Anyone feeling trapped in an unsafe or limiting environment should absolutely GTFO. But some of the best LGBT communities I’ve been in were in Kentucky, Indiana, and North Carolina, and the diversity of cultural experiences was part of that–you haven’t lived until you’ve attended the Midwest Bear Pack convention, gotten drunk on mint juleps with Southern lesbians at the Kentucky Derby, or partied with the gay infield at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Yes, we also prissed around at plenty of art museums, and made an annual pilgrimage to the Humana Festival in Louisville (and when I lived in Utah, Sundance came to us!). All that and I got SCUBA certified, too (though flight lessons would have been fun). I also first saw “Hedwig” onscreen at my rural wackadoodle multiplex, so go figure.
You may have to work harder or drive farther to find community, sure, but it’s often tighter when you do and some of the best times of my life were in the “frightful wasteland situated between the civilized portions of our nation.” You also get what you give–if you’re clerking somewhere new or culturally unfamiliar, dive in and get to know the place and its people rather than spending the year watching films on your laptop like a New Yorker reluctantly camping. (Pro tip for clerks gay or straight–most rural areas have a university somewhere nearby; go to events and seek out friendships with grad students and junior faculty if you’re lonely for a community/dating pool of young intellectuals).
You go, girl. I like to think I’d follow in your footsteps if I were posted out in the hinterlands, and I’ve been advising all my clerks to seek a university. But some of these towns…it can be tough.
Will, you might look up Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor, MI. They both have gay rights laws, are very gay friendly and they are also would be part of “real America” in flyover country.
I think university towns are the best exceptions to the rule…I’ve heard good things about both Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor.
This piece is really horrible. Someone could write an equally nasty piece about black people and their neighborhoods and how high the crime is, how drug use is rampant, how unsafe it is for white people, blah blah blah. Or someone could write an anti-gay piece and talk about promiscuity and drug abuse, and how they still get HIV at a high rate after all this time knowing the risks, or announce that gay men are interested in teenage boys so much more than straight men are into teenage girls, blah blah, and then just say it’s not bigotry because after all, I’m right and you’re wrong. Name one thing that’s wrong!
Incidentally even in places like Wichita or Tulsa about a quarter of the white population will vote Democratic, which would make them to the left of a substantial percentage of the NYC area for example. And such cities do have large arts scenes, and real downtowns. So in addition to being bigoted, you are falsely generalzing an entire population into your little cariacature. Pathetic.
Again, I disagree. You’re blurring things a bit too much. I’m gay and I’m not promiscuous, and there’s no evidence gay people are more promiscuous than straight people, or that there’s anything wrong with being promiscuous. Saying that stuff would simply be wrong. And the stuff I’m saying in this piece isn’t wrong. You can say I’m dwelling on negatives – sure. But I’m also dwelling on realities. So – thank you for calling my piece horrible and telling me I’m pathetic – I always appreciate these courtesies. But I think your comment is misguided and plain wrong.
“Other than watching tv, there is exactly one extra-curricular activity available in your new home – watching football.”
Ok, there’s a false statement.
This whole thing is bizzarre… are you joking here? Is this some kind of psychiatrist’s test? Or just trolling your readership perhaps? 🙂
Okay…first of all – I understand I’m dealing with lawyers here, so it has to be spelled out – that’s a joke. J-O-K-E. LIke, ha-ha? No, clearly, there are other activities besides football. But the underlying truth – the forbidden truth that makes it a FUNNY joke – is that football, and professional sports – totally dominate the life out there in the hinterlands, to an extent that leaves a lot of clerks visiting from places like NYC and LA in, yes, culture shock. I mean – the whole football obsession is maddening if you happen to come from a place where people don’t dress in body paint and leave the tv on with football games playing at all times and wear clothes printed with the marketing stuff from football franchises, and attend universities which are basically excuses for drinking and football, etc etc. So, yes, this is satire, and I’m poking fun at the American heartland for being obsessed with football. I’m employing hyperbole, and making a joke in order to point out the ridiculousness of the football obsession.
Okay? Get it? I know I’m hateful and bigoted and pathetic, blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda…but my heavens, lawyers are a humorless crowd. I mean – really? Are Mid-Westerners really rending their clothing and tearing their hair because I’m teasing them about being obsessed with football? As Bugs Bunny used to say – take a powder, dearie.
Is it really possible to write a book about being a lawyer called “Way Worse Than Being a Dentist” and not somehow communicate that you’re writing comedy? Yes. If the audience is lawyers.
As I’ve said again and again…you can’t make this shit up.
I meant, is the whole piece a joke, to test if we are willing to go along with bigotry like in Borat or something. I am aware that particular statement is not to be taken literally.
Anyone could easily trash black culture or gay culture the same way, making gross generalizations and exaggerating negatives. How hard would it be to exaggerate the gay club scene into a bunch of drug-addled sex addicts looking to feed their desires, then say that’s what gay people are like in general.The Bachmann crowd does exactly that. This whole piece has the same attitude. You just *know* you’re superior, and they are culturally inferior, and are rubbing it in, finding the worst things about “flyover country”, exaggerating them, then presenting them as the norm.
Guess what, you aren’t better than the intolerant people that you have heard about out in Kansas or Oklahoma or whatnot. You’re just like them.
Yeah, and you’re a humorless twit. Okay – name-calling is now officially over.
If you had any sense of humor – or irony – you might have noticed the narrator of the piece is poking fun at himself at the end (never leave Manhattan – really?) or picked up on the arch, parodistic air of the whole thing.
If you could just stop being so damned defensive and have a laugh at yourself….gay people can somehow pull off this feat. We laugh at ourselves all the time. (Darling, let me slip out of these high-heel pumps and we can count the ways together.) Why can’t people from the “real” America lighten up, look in the mirror, see a few things that are troubling, and maybe laugh at their own reflection?
And how about the hateful, nasty, demeaning comments I’ve been receiving for the past two days from those fresh-faced, church-going denizens of the “real America”? I’ve sat here listening to a stream of abuse. How many times can I be called “pathetic”? Sorry – I’m not “pathetic”. It’s pathetic to keep calling me pathetic.
Can we at least knock it off with the name-calling? Okay? This isn’t junior high.
Ok, two things –
1.) If you meant this whole article as some form of joke, then why have you spent so much time responding to people by saying some form of, “You may not have liked what I said, but it’s all true.” If it’s a joke, it isn’t all true. Hyperbole =/= reality. You can’t have it both ways.
2.) It’s great that you are able to laugh at yourself. I’m sure you and your friends have a lot of inside jokes related to the gay stereotype. I’m also sure that when you run across a blog written by someone who is clearly not gay and is employing hyperbole to clue everyone in on the “truth” of gay culture, you aren’t so prone to laughter. Most people are capable of laughing at themselves. I frequently refer lovingly to my forest firefighter brother who loves to bull ride, hunts anything with a pulse, and chopped his finger off in a hog pen as a hick. That doesn’t mean you can. When I say it, it is with a sister’s love and knowledge that the stereotype of a hick doesn’t completely fit him. When you say it, you don’t mean to entice laughter and joking, you mean to lable.
#1 – a joke isn’t funny unless it’s based in truth, it’s the truth that makes a joke a joke
#2 – sorry, I have to at least try to laugh at your brother, because if I’m clerking in his hometown, he’s going to be a part of my life. Sorry if you didn’t like my joke, but hey – they can’t all be zingers, you know.
Again, based in truth is not the same thing as true. And the point is not that you would or would not laugh at my brother (although, good choice of words. You are laughing “at” people, not with them, because you believe that you are better than them. Aren’t you a therapist?) if you were living in the same place with him and met him, the point is that you don’t know him. You, the person living in New York who has never visited the midwest, don’t know a thing about the people in the midwest. And do you find it easy to laugh at the ignorance of others when they espouse the “truth” about gay culture, but assure you it’s just a joke? I mean, it’s a joke based on truth, that’s what makes it funny. You know, how all gay men are very feminine and flamboyant, sex-addicts, who likely have STD’s? It’s funny cause it’s hyperbole based in truth, and I can say that cause I have a friend whose gay, so I must know what I’m talking about.
Ummm…based in truth means true. Sorry – should have spelled that out. I believe these things to be true about rural regions in the US. I believe these things to be true and I make jokes about these things I mean to be true. I believe these jokes to be funny. I believe it is worth laughing about sprawl and racial and socioeconomic segregation and cultural backwardness because sometimes you gotta keep laughin’ to keep from cryin’.
Yes, there is truth in stereotypes, and jokes based on stereotypes can be funny. It would be a bit tired to make jokes about ‘mos being effeminate or whatever, but go for it, and if you can find a fun angle, I’ll be laughing too.
Oh, and I’m a therapist, not a Buddhist monk. But even if I were a Buddhist monk, I’d still be permitted to laugh at people. I think if you’re human, you have that right.
Please, please…I know you’re a lawyer. But try to lighten up.
Based on truth does not, in fact, mean true. It means based on truth. There may be an element of truth, but the remainder is exaggerated for effect. But, as you say, you believe these things to be true. Your personal beliefs based on no personal experience hardly amount to a true statement. Your opinion on fly-over country isn’t based on facts, its based on tired old stereotypes.
Regardless, you are entitled to your opinion.
And no need to tell me to lighten up. You don’t know me well enough (aka, at all) to do so. The only experience you’ve had with me is a couple of comments on a blog, you have no idea the person who I am or my general attitude/disposition and whether or not I need to “lighten up.”
And you don’t know me at all either. Hasn’t slowed you down much.
Please show me where I’ve made any statement about your general attitude or you as a person. I don’t believe that I have. The most I’ve said is that based on what you wrote, it doesn’t appear that you have ever taken the time to visit the area you are writing about. I’ve called you no names and I like to think that my comments have been civil, as have yours. The only suggestion I’ve made to you is to visit a place before you write about it. I haven’t made any suggestion that you need some form of attitude adjustment.
Regardless, it is obvious that we have different views on the benefits and detriments of the midwest, and it was never my intention to change the way you think. I merely sought to show that maybe there is more the midwest than people on the coast give us credit for. Take it or leave it.
Best of luck to you and your clients!
You assume I haven’t visited these places. You don’t know that. Remember – you don’t know me at all.
Best of luck to you, too.
But the underlying truth – the forbidden truth that makes it a FUNNY joke – is that football, and professional sports – totally dominate the life out there in the hinterlands, to an extent that leaves a lot of clerks visiting from places like NYC and LA in, yes, culture shock. I mean – the whole football obsession is maddening if you happen to come from a place where people don’t dress in body paint and leave the tv on with football games playing at all times and wear clothes printed with the marketing stuff from football franchises, and attend universities which are basically excuses for drinking and football, etc etc.
This is just clueless. The two most obnoxious NFL fan bases belong to New England and New York. Los Angeles doesn’t have a pro football team, but the USC-UCLA rivalry more than makes up for lost ground. San Francisco 49ers fans are hardly slouches either. Really, red state teams have far more reasonable sports fans. I attend Astros games all the time, and visiting team fans show up wearing their jerseys with no fear, something that can’t be said for people visiting the Dodgers, where an SF Giants fan was killed in a dispute over hot dogs!
Forget the “hinterlands”, a two block walk would probably cause you to go into culture shock. God help you if you go to a European soccer game, where the fans hoot and throw bananas at black players or hiss like escaping gas when a team from a traditionally Jewish area shows up to play.
MLB FTW
XYZ PDQ
FTW = “For The Win,” meaning, that was the best comment so far. MLB is the name of the person who commented. C’mon Will, keep up with the interwebs!
Sorry…I had no idea whatsoever what that was meant to communicate…
I don’t expect people from Northeast cities to have any nuanced concept of life in the hinterlands. It is pretty easy to find and focus on the problems. NYC is a big place so I am sure you will keep finding work despite having offended 2/3rds of the population of this country with this unfunny “comic” piece. I am genuinely sorry to hear you have been harassed, that kind of thing originally sent me from my hometown to a huge coastal city, but can you honestly say you have never been harassed in NYC or LA? There is no place with more self-righteous triumphalism than Manhattan. But Manhattan often stinks of urine, and is full of angry selfish materialists who congratulate themselves on their neighbors’ diversity without ever having taken a millisecond to try and understand or emphasize with it. I’ve lived in every region of this country except the deep south and for every bit of ignorance you can find in the midwest I can find an offsetting bit of informed cruelty in NYC. Personally, I’d rather live an enlightened life among the sometimes genuinely misguided than packed in with indifferent opportunists morally compromised by their despair. To each her own.
But my concern is that the advice you are giving these clerk clients is actually bad for them. Stay inside, download off the internet, tough it out? Then what was the point of coming out in the first place!?! Frankly, if they are going to take a clerkship in a remote location because it is a snazzy credential, then spend their time complaining and surfing the internet, they deserve to be miserable. Why not tell them to suck it up, go out and figure out what the place is about, and if there are problems, use their smarts and education to work on solutions. Seems a bit more productive than hiding indoors for a year and then running back to Rome with tales of all the barbaric things they witnessed through their window curtains. Just a thought.
This is the best comments section ever!
If I wasn’t so busy right now, I could really enjoy this.
Yeah, I’ve gone from shocked to angry to thoughtful to weary…but it is interesting, and I guess I’m glad I shook things up this week.
At this point I’m mostly feeling gratified and intrigued to hear so many voices having their say. Sorry if I got snappy earlier…I’m experiencing a bit of grudging but genuine respect for my Mid-Western (and other non-NYC) fellow Americans. They stuck to it – and made some good points. It’s humbling to sit at the center of this debate (and now I’d like to crawl off into a corner and watch you guys duke it out from here…)
Those were very nice, kind words. I accept these comments as “mea culpa”.
And you might want to also add the truth that life for a gay, Jewish man is better in almost all parts of America than in some places like Saudi Arabia.
Take care and sorry about some of my stronger posts.
How about contacting Time Wise (Jewish anti racism writer/speaker that hates, despises White Americans – wants to see them die off, life support taken away from old White people in hospitals) – and maybe get together and watch a couple of episodes of the Andy Griffith TV show – Time Wise, hates the AGS – wants to see this world wiped away.
That’s the problem with biglaw – it keeps you from spending ALL your time reading The People’s Therapist!
I’m not in BigLaw.
I was just assaulted by a massive incoming barrage of paper from the federal bureaucracy. Apparently they decided to take all of the appeals I filed with them over the past 12 months (about one a month) and send them to me all at once.
Well…good luck with that. : )
I love the Mid-West and I love everybody! (Surrender! Surrender!)
…and now I’m running off to get dinner.
Thanks, everyone – it’s made for one hell of a week.
Hello Mr. Meyerhofer,
In my amateur analysis this article has garnered so many upset comments because it seems so uncharacteristic when compared to your others. For example, your genuine and thoughtful pieces have been a life preserver to me as I attempt to forgive myself for dropping out of law school after discovering that it wasn’t right for me. I have viewed this site as free and essential therapy. So, thank you for that, truly. I have never lived on the coasts, and know that admitting that proves I am not exactly a hip person. I live in a small town in Michigan. I think the anger that is displayed on this post shows how people react when a person they feel they trust tells them that, basically, they’re a loser. It hurts. I did read that you meant it to be satire, and I respect that, but it’s harsh humor. And I suspect that many people who migrate to this site have harshness in their lives already, and that’s why they’re here. I don’t know you personally, but you have helped me, and I wish you well and appreciate what you do.
Thanks for writing in with such a thoughtful and reflective comment. I think more than anything this column reflected my unconscious biases as a New Yorker. The piece was, I suppose, aimed at other New Yorkers – or coastal city types – as a way to vicariously vent about their culture shock living in small towns as clerks. I honestly never expected such a strong reaction – perhaps I should have. Maybe my being gay – another reason to feel unsafe and rejected out in the hinterlands – colored my approach as well. In any case, I trust there’s no harm done. I’ll just keep writing, and people can keep responding and we’ll keep going together and learn from one another. One way to look at it is that I’m simply proud of being a New Yorker, just like anyone else is proud of where they’re from. I guess – like most New Yorkers – I take it for granted that my city is the center of the universe, and that anyone would just naturally rather be here. That sounds ridiculous when I write it – metaphorically say it out loud…but it is how I secretly feel inside, if I’m being honest. I grew up in the suburbs of New Jersey – not particularly well-off – and fled to New York City as fast as my feet could carry me, as soon as I found the chance. I love my city – and I guess that love blinded me to the hurtfulness of poking fun at all those other places. And of course, it’s possible I’m better able to recognize the foibles of other places than I am the challenges faced by my own beloved hometown.
I would say that hate breeds more hate.
The writer is a spoiled little East Coast legal brat who is basically writing off everyone in the fly over states as stupid hicks.
And people wonder why poor and working class Americans despise and yes HATE elitist lawyers, despise coastal elites.
Does anyone think the United States could have won World War II against NS Germany and Japan with soldiers like this brat?
This country needs a draft so spoiled brats like this jerk can get out in the real world and do some honest work.
Heh. You realize you’re now an object lesson?
http://www.vdare.com/articles/us-courts-run-by-elitist-law-clerks-who-hate-america-and-think-iowa-is-the-gulag
For me, it’s not so much the hatred – people are entitled to their preferences – it’s the passive-aggression. First you slag another culture, then you go “why so defensive”? It’s the perfect example of “Able to dish it out, but not take it.”
I grew up in a smallish Southern city, far below the mason dixon, that happened to have a federal district court, and quite a few clerkship opportunities. I went to a high school that was 40% white, 50% black, and 10% hispanic/other. Although I am willing to acknowledge that my friends of different racial and cultural backgrounds didn’t go to my church, and we had different preferences in bars and restaurants, we did interact socially on a regular basis and I’m still in contact with many of them.
The socio-economics were all extremes and the inbetween – dirt poor white people, dirt poor black people, rich white people, rich black people, and I have to say that was a much more difficult barrier than the racial differences.
I’ve been the only white girl on a basketball team, and I’ve been in a sorority of all white girls. I know who Helena Bonham Carter is and I didn’t learn that today. I feel very strongly about defending gay rights, and the friends I have from home who are gay and live in New York, come home for Christmas and aren’t hiding anything. Shoot, half of the bartenders at my favorite dive bar are openly gay, and I’ve never really even thought much about it. My city spend years rebuilding it’s downtown into somewhere you’d enjoy hanging out, with interesting bars and restaurants, art galleries, and music venues in restored and treasured theaters. And no, it isn’t New York, but really, what is besides actual New York?
I’m not convinced that you’ve ever really been invested in a community that has inherent historical problems – racial, socio-economic, gender, educational – and spent the time trying to make it better and seen how much can be accomplished when people care.
Maybe if someone smart enough and intelligent enough to get a clerkship in my town cared enough, they could get involved in the historical preservation, or volunteer at the soup kitchen two blocks from the courthouse, or train for the iron man triathlon that happens every year. Maybe they could get involved with one of the many nature preserves, or join a cycling club. Honestly, they could probably just make a habit of drinking a beer on the street downtown n the same spot every wednesday night, and I promise they would have a new black friend and a new white friend before the end of a month. And probably a hispanic and asian friend too. And yeah, our baseball team is only single A, but the beers are cheap and it’s always fun!
Encouraging someone to stay inside and rent movies for a year can’t possibly be sound pyschological advice. The weather is entirely too fantastic down here for that.
wow, an angry, bitter Jew…that’s so novel
I wonder if that describes Freud. We’re all angry – to be human is to contain anger – and Freud must have been bitter, on some level, as the Nazis burned his library, then gassed and burned his sisters.
Ok, I understand things now. I didn’t realize at first that we were dealing with the whole urban Jewish pseudo intellectual thing; the writer has some serious persecution complex that every poor, working class and rural Gentile is a barbarian goy, eager to go NAZI – gas and burn all the morally and intellectually superior Jewish people who live in progressive places like New York City, San Francisco, Berlin.
We’re dealing with one of God’s Chosen People, morally and intellectually superior to all the working stiff goyim who live in fly over states. So you have a hard time getting along with people who live in places like Nebraska and Kentucky how do you feel about folks like:
the Germans, Poles, Russians, Ukrainians, Egyptians, Palestinians?
It was for people like this bitter (not very) “gay” New York Jew with a law degree he doesn’t use that the state of Israel was created.
Israel the homeland of the Jews…..
So why doesn’t he go home? Oh – he also doesn’t get along with other Jews.
Figures.
that was a joke by the way, don’t you have a sense of humor, you fat faggot kike? (more jokes, please try to keep up, faggot)
I have no problem with being gay and Jewish, and no, the words “faggot” and “kike” don’t scare me. As for my weight…well, it’s a work in progress, but I bench 245 and workout for 2 hours 4x per week (including hard cardio), so there is progress on that front. Thanks for writing in.
what are you, in your 40s now? and your fat body is still a work in progress? I guess the unveiling will happen when they shove your room temperature body in the oven…or maybe you’re hoping the AIDS diet will help
more explanation of jokes that no doubt flew over your head: you are fat (based in truth), a faggot (and a good caricature of one who hates normal people), and a kike (and you fit the stereotype of a solipsistic, sneering heeb to perfection)
more jokes available at mypostingcareer.com
AT LAST SOMEONE WITH THE COURAGE TO STICK IT TO THOSE BIBLETHUMPING REDNECKS
I CAN SEE THEM NOW CONGREGATING IN TGI FRIDAYS PLOTTING THEIR NEXT HATE CRIME UPON SOME POOR DEFENSELESS HIV POSITIVE TRANSGENDERED KINDERGARTEN TEACHER WHOS ALREADY BEEN VICTIMIZED A THOUSAND TIMES OVER BY THE VERY NATURE OF OUR UNJUST SOCIETY AND IM GLAD YOURE THERE TO CHANGE THE LAWS OF THIS RACIST COUNTRY IN FACT IM CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOUR SACRIFICE AS A NEW YORKER ACCUSTOMED TO THE AMENITIES THAT THIS FINE CITY OFFERS LIKE ALL NIGHT GLORYHOLES IS SO BRAVE WHY I BET IN MOST FLYOVER TOWNS THERES NOT EVEN A BONDAGE STRIPCLUB
Okay… So this post has angered some people outside of the North East but it seems to have also brought out the racist, antisemitic and homophobic pieces of crap that troll the web. Clearly hate is far from dead.
It would be good if people got more offended by this type of behavior and speech as they were by the original post that clearly was meant to be humorous. I know I am.
And to the trolls: go f*ck yourselves and your miserable hateful lives torturing small animals and crawl back under your rock. Gratuitous? Maybe, but it made me feel slightly better.
To Miss Awesome lady,
How is the original post supposed to be humorous? Thepeoplestherapist is comparing life in the 47 states as the same as being in Stalin’s Gulag Archipelago. He’s dismising all the poor and working class Whites in the US South, Midwest as worthless “trailer trash” – that’s about as hateful speech I’ve heard this year.
Most honest travellers from Europe, Asia or even Israel would admit that there are many nice, interesting places in the US South, Midwest where the locals are nice and there is authentic positive culture.
I went to college in Vanderbilt in Nashville TN in the 80s – Bob Marley’s best live music recordings were done in Nashville where there was a very strong Reggae fan base. And my experience was that Black – White relations were significantly better in Tennessee in the 1980s than in New York City in the 1990s when I lived in NYC.
You blame destruction of downtowns of Walmart.
It’s one of those claims which are not 100% false, but not 100% true either. Yes, Walmart had a lot to do with it, but so did others. Example: I’m from Boston and 25 years ago there used to be a lot of small independent stationery stores. Then in 1987 Staples opened its first store (first in the whole country) on Soldiers Field Road – they sold office supplies for half of what small stores charged and still made money. In a year or two, independent stores went out of business.
Economists call it Economy of Scale, and it works same way everywhere, unless land or transportation are expensive.
Peak oil.
It’s not a problem.
It’s a solution!
Kunstler just hates the aesthetics of McDonalds in general. I don’t really disagree with him there.
What you really needed to do with this post was to provide a link to the old New Yorker View of the World from 9th Avenue.
Yes, that would have been perfect! : )
Mr Ryan, interestingly, even though I have traveled across the country, I am not from the US and I have never lived in the US. However, before I became a lawyer I was a tour guide in Europe for North American high school students and their teachers. Over 5 years, I got to take hundreds of people from, among the states I remember, Texas, Missouri, Florida, Michigan, South Carolina, Colorado,Tennessee and Montana around Europe.
With very few exceptions these people were lovely, interesting, open to the world and overall awesome (and trust me it’s hard to find people truly awesome when you spend over 2 weeks 24/7 with them and have to smile). However, a lot of these folks were telling me very similar stories to what Will (a tad excessively maybe) described.
I also got to see some incredible racism within groups. One incident in particular stayed in my mind when within a group of 50 pax I got two groups from Texas. One was an entire white religious young women group and the other a mixed (black/ white/ asian) group. The hatred from the white group towards the mixed group was actually shocking to the point I had to intervene. Other instances included chatting with black teachers and them telling me how bad racism was in their town and how discrimination meant that a lot of their black students had less chances of succeeding than their white peers.
All the people raging about this post seem to have conveniently ignored that a few posters from these “fly over countries”, have laughed and said “hey that’s true, that’s what I am experiencing/ have experienced”. It doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone, not even a minority but it means that some people recognise a few things and go “ha ha! That’s a good point”.
If I had to feel insulted every time someone made a joke about cheese-eating surrender monkeys, smell of garlic or how lazy we, as a country are supposed to be (we can find another hundreds of these people)… No, I just smile, shrug (which is something I can do merely from genetic heritage) and move on.
What you and some others are doing under the cover of righteous indignation, being openly antisemitic, homophobic and racist, thereby proving to the world that America still has an active number hateful morons. Congratulations!
Wow, after reading all of these comments I am overwhelmingly sad. I didn’t like your original posting and, satire or not, I was mildly offended by your characterization of where I live. But no matter what you wrote you didn’t deserve to be called all of the awful, hurtful names some of these posters have hurled at you from behind their shields of anonymity. If nothing else I hope you read this sentence and know I’m sorry you had to read that trash.
I live in Texas, in Austin to be specific. To you it may be a podunk little town in a fly-over state but to me it’s a dream come true. You ran away from Jersey as fast as you could to live in New York. I ran away from D.C. as fast as I could to live here. I love my city just as much as you love yours, I feel the same connection to Austin that you feel to New York, and I feel the same pride you do when I tell someone where I live. Like many Americans where I live is a personal choice; it’s part of my identity and it stings when someone craps all over that. I’m not reacting defensively because I’m insecure about where I live – I’m reacting because I LOVE where I live. It was my dream and I sacrificed a lot to get here. You don’t have to understand my choice but I’ll ask you to respect it.
My advice for clerks, from anywhere – not just NYC/LA – who are exiled to places they find geographically undesirable is to make the best of it. Do whatever you have to do to get by but try to avoid hunkering down with books and movies. Try new things – try football, try hiking – spend the year trying things you can’t easily find in the place to which you’re dying to get back. There’s a whole world out there that’s filled with people and experiences; it’s up to you to make the most of your time. Use the time as an opportunity to expand your worldview, become more informed, and absorb some regional charm. Give it a shot and even if you hate every second of it at least you’ll go home with an informed opinion.
I can’t speak for other places but Austin has a vibrant local culture and it would be hard to mistake it for anywhere else in the world. The “Keep Austin Weird” slogan is actually about supporting local businesses. If you want a Barnes & Noble or a Walmart be prepared to drive out toward the ‘burbs. But if you want culture go see some live music, swim in Barton Springs, bike Town Lake, try brisket, eat sushi out of an trailer, learn how to two-step, take an informal class at UT, and get your picture taken with a longhorn. We’ve got museums, operas, ballets, and an arts district too. Oh, and wine tasting; we’ve got lots of vineyards.
I didn’t like this column but it won’t keep me from reading your future efforts. I owe you a debt of gratitude for the free advice you’ve doled out through your series with ATL. Leaving the legal rat race was the best decision I have ever made but it was also a decision a lot of people didn’t understand. It helped a lot to be able to read your column during that time and it helps even now when I sometimes have doubts. Thank you.
For the record – I haven’t been there, but everyone I’ve ever met seems to love Austin, TX.
Oh, and one more thing. I have traveled around the U.S. – mostly because I’m a hiking enthusiast. My last two trips were to Arizona and Utah, where my partner and I I hiked several of the National Parks. I don’t hate America, folks – I was just poking fun at some of the “peculiarities” of the hinterland through the eyes of a big city Coaster. I must have struck some sort of nerve, because I’ve been inundated by hate mail – anti-semitic, anti-gay, anti-everything. I’ve posted some of the milder bits, just to give you all a taste of the hate. The stuff I haven’t posted would make you shudder – that was my response, at least. Pretty horrific.
The author seethes with loathing for non-Jewish whites. Living in Manhattan, he can largely avoid these unsavory Gentiles (black and white). It must be distressing to wander outside of this enclave.
Okay, folks – I posted this comment just to give you an idea of the vileness coming my way lately. I’m not making it up – for whatever reason, anti-Semites have decided to step in and defend rural Americans accused of living amid sprawl, lacking expertise in independent cinema and harboring an over-fondness for football. What any of this has to do with my Jewishness (for the record, I’m a strident atheist), well – it’s anyone’s guess.
I enjoyed this piece, but I admit that it touched a nerve too. I am from a small town with a humble background, but I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to study at an elite university in a major city. Many of my classmates there were from major coastal cities and harbored elitist attitudes against people with my background. While it would have been unheard of to utter even the most innocent joke against minorities or the inner-city poor, it was completely accepted to make disparaging comments about “trailer trash” and right-wingers who “cling to their guns” in Middle America. Even though I don’t identify with those values, it made me feel hurt and ashamed to admit my background. I still confront a dismissive attitude against small town America from co-workers at my job at a major federal government agency in DC.
Jim Webb, a Democratic Senator from Virginia, noted in an opinion piece that poor, rural whites face some of the greatest disadvantages in overcoming poverty and bettering themselves. In my observation, instead of receiving help and extra consideration, they are too often the target of jokes by the members of society who control the opportunities that could help them get ahead.
This reminds me a lot of my experiences. I grew up the child of immigrants in a -very- small town in the Midwest but was fortunate enough to go to an elite school in the big city. I still remember one of the people I befriended — like almost everyone at the university came from an urbane and wealthy background — complimenting me on the fact that I wasn’t racist despite having come from such a small town. I admit that at the time I took it as a compliment, such was my shame at having grown up in hicksville.
But that isn’t the reality. My hometown wasn’t perfect, but people who spoke in racist terms were always considered low-class, and either ignored or admonished. Pastors, teachers, community leaders all inveighed against racism. Whereas the rich white liberals I went to school with seemed to think that since they thought / voted the “right way,” they could say any bigoted thing with impunity. I had never heard some common stereotypes about various races (“Mexicans are lazy” / “Jews are cheap”) until I went off to college.
Thus, the equating of “flyover country” with bigotry while treating the coasts as some sort of progressive paradise irks me. Will still hasn’t explained how California (with its anti-gay marriage amendment passed by a large majority with lots of help from its large minorities) fits into the picture. And I’ve spent enough time in Queens (Astoria, family) and New Jersey to know that proximity to Greenwich Village doesn’t correlate to more of an open mind. If I was of the type to make wide generalizations and cast wider aspersions, I’d say it seems to be exactly the opposite. But I’ll leave that sort of work to Will.
I just wanted to thank everyone who contributed in a positive, if spirited way on this topic. In particular, I would like to thank the “progressives” who defended life in the Midwest, smaller towns, the South – those who stood up for regular Americans who don’t live in elite areas like Manhattan.
I also want to thank Will Meyerhofer for allowing honest, critical comments about his views and for stepping back a bit and admitting that it isn’t completely fair to write off everyone and everything in the fly-over states from Manhattan to California.
I share with Will Meyerhofer the experience of working for a high level graduate degree from New York University (mine was an MBA) that I ultimately didn’t use. While Mr. Meyerhofer seems to think this degree and others puts him up in to a great high place to look down on all kinds of people, I look at my Stern New York University MBA degree as evidence that I – a high IQ elite person did something rather foolish that regular working folks in those fly over states would never do. My NYU MBA experience was humbling.
Maybe this experience here was a bit humbling for Will Meyerhofer – I hope so and hope that Will will be a bit more open minded and kind to other Americans from different regions, different classes. America has lots of problems, but on balance I think most folks should agree that life here is better than say in Taliban controlled parts of Afghanistan or Somalia.
Thanks again everyone – thanks Will, best of luck.
Thanks, Jack. Actually, however, it’s my MSW from Hunter College (of the City University of New York) that puts me in a great high place to look down on all kinds of people. And I just finished paying for it a few months ago, so now I can really look down from dizzying heights.
🙂
And I note that New York City is a much safer, cleaner, more prosperous place than when I lived there in the late 80s, early 90s… New Yorkers cleaned out a lot of the riff-raff – including me.
This will all come to an end someday when the country folk begin shelling Manhattan from Hudson County, New Jersey. I think the last civil war started in similar circumstances with guns blazing at another island outpost viewed as hostile. Man, can’t we all just get along?
(1) Based on what you wrote, you are a bigot. Re-read what you wrote, and all of your subsequent protest to the rightful criticism, if you disagree. While denizens of “fly-over country,” which is either a lazy writer’s or a bigot’s term, aren’t a Constitutionally-protected class, “bigotry” isn’t a term of legal art and it isn’t limited to irrational hatred or criticism of particular, court-designated classes. It’s a moral term. And you’re a bigot on this point. If you don’t like that, you need to change your heart, rather than quibble over the definition.
(2) In my experience, some times individual bigotry is understandable, although not admirable or worthy of emulation or defense, based on a particular individual’s backstory and the practical reality of needing to make real-world, real-time, important decisions based on imperfect knowledge and, in large measure, prior experience. I don’t know what sort of horrible experience you had in “wackadoodleville” (a bigoted term), but am truly sorry that you had it. You’re missing out on some good stuff (in particular, the wackadoodle licker at the boondock bistro is to DIE for; Ms. H.B. Carter swears by it when she’s in town; take the third left past the second trailer in the holler with the magnolia tree named Traveler; if they get rough or antsy, tell ’em ah sencha; if you’re worried about the Revenooers gettin’ ya for impaired drivin’ later, ask for my room at the Motor Inn-cest next door). My empathy, though, doesn’t mean that you’re not a bigot against Wackadoodlevillians (also known as millions and millions of individual people who you’ve never met, who are like nothing you’ve described or imagined, yet judge mercilessly). Again, if you don’t like that judgment of mine, you need to change your heart, rather than quibble over the definition.
(3) The most galling thing about this column is the rank hypocrisy. If you want to over-generalize and ruffle feathers as a thought-exercise or for self-promotion, fine. But it’s a bit much to take that approach, and then write the below passages while trying to wallow and flop back up to the moral high-ground:
“Saying that stuff would simply be wrong. And the stuff I’m saying in this piece isn’t wrong. You can say I’m dwelling on negatives – sure. But I’m also dwelling on realities. So – thank you for calling my piece horrible and telling me I’m pathetic – I always appreciate these courtesies. But I think your comment is misguided and plain wrong.”
“Out of curiosity, guys – does anyone have an actual inaccuracy in this piece to report…or is it just “let’s take umbrage and insult Will week?” [Ed. note: this is just a truly vapid, narcissistic thing to write regarding a column of pretty much pure opinion in absolute formulations. I’ll take the bait, though; my vote for the MOST inaccurate statement would be this: “I am scrupulously non-partisan in these columns – no one can gull me into revealing my sympathies.”]
“Amazing that not one person – not one of the commenters – even the sane ones – tackled the race issue. Just a bunch of “don’t hate the Mid-West we have arts centers!” Disappointing.” [Ed. note – someone then politely identified the straw man of the “race issue” and our proprietor posted this rhetorical retreat.] “I’m not sure the term “racist” makes any sense anymore. The question isn’t being “racist” – we’re all “racist” the the [sic] degree we notice race – which itself is a construct, as the issue is really ethnicity. I’m talking about the separation of people in this country based upon class and wealth and ethnicity.” [Ed. note – thanks for the tone of this post, which is sure to unify folks across class, wealth, culture, ethnicity, etc.]]
(4) FWIW, I’ve lived in Manhattan, London and Madrid. As well as California, Colorado, Arizona, Texas, Virginia, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, and Kentucky. I’m not provincial by any stretch. And that is in large measure to the fact that I understand that the state of “provincialism” has much less to do with where in the world one lives than one’s outlook on and understanding of the rest of it.
God speed and take care.
Good Lord! You’re right. I’ve been gulled into revealing my sympathies!
…and I believe you really might be one of those Wackadoodles in the sticks who honestly believes Rick Santorum is a legitimate candidate for the US Presidency. Whatever the case, it’s worthless replying to comments of this ilk. First of all, I’ll end up showered with another week’s worth of anti-semitic hatemail from – yes – wackadoodles from the sticks (I’ve now been posted on a white-power website.) And secondly…well, you’re a lawyer, so we’re existing in a no-irony zone, where a sense of humor doesn’t exist, where making fun of non-New Yorkers for watching too many Hollywood movies or being obsessed with football is somehow more insulting and horrible than the fact that most of our country looks like one huge strip mall, our prisons are bulging with young black men who haven’t done anything young white aren’t doing right and left, and yes, we essentially live in completely segregated worlds, protected by gated communities.
Okay – bring on the hate mail. The stuff about how I should die of AIDS and end up in Hitler’s ovens was particularly charming. Wackadoodle away.
Those clerks from the coasts who are going nuts in the hinterlands because it’s so boring out there and – well – impossible to just relax and speak your mind without being showered with hate? They retain my deepest sympathies.
“white people and black people kind of mostly live in different places and kind of don’t really see each other too much, like, socially? You know? That gets worse in the hinterlands – a lot worse.”
Glad to know there is a place where unforced segregation in living areas and social circles is worse.
— Washington, DC
Wow! why is everyone getting so worked up by this post? It’s not imperative that you agree with Will. Read it and move on…simple.
I do appreciate your website and I have enjoyed reading it over the years and I will certainly continue to do so. I know the article is meant as satire, but I thought I would throw in my two cents on the specific reference to Baton Rouge because I am from Baton Rouge and I think people from other parts of the US have certain negative views about Louisiana’s capital city — some undoubtedly deserved while others are undeserved.
If you visit the city you will see that it is by no means a small town (the population is well over 200,000 in the city proper) and is actually a really cool place to live with a solid arts and music scene, growing film industry and great theater productions, not to mention its interesting cultural heritage and the natural beauty of the area. In fact, today is Mardi Gras, and those of you who aren’t familiar with it really don’t know what you are missing.
Further, while there is much to be desired in terms of addressing racism and other forms of discrimination in the US in general, and certainly Baton Rouge in particular, the city has come a long way in the past 10-15 years. For example, Baton Rouge currently has an African American mayor (Kip Holden) and it is home to Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, the first Indian American governor in the US. Even if one does not agree with the state’s current republican-based politics (our previous governor was a Democrat and a woman), it is clear that the citizens of the city and the state are not voting based solely on race or sex and are willing to support candidates of various backgrounds at all levels of politics. Finally, Baton Rouge is also well situated for weekend trips to places such as New Orleans, which is only an hour away (and, notably, is home to the first Vietnamese American to serve in Congress).
Of course everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, but I wanted to point out the efforts that at least some of the citizens of Baton Rouge (and really, Louisiana as a whole) are making to combat the very stereotypes mentioned in the article and in several of the comments. At the same time, it’s still good to be challenged about the things that we haven’t gotten right. Anyway, I hope some of you get to visit someday and maybe see another side of the city and the state for yourselves.
Sorry – picked Baton Rouge out of a hat…maybe I’ll pick on Birmingham instead.
It’s Wichita, not Witchita.
Which probably explains everything…
I just stumbled upon your blog and thought this column was pretty funny. Perhaps I’m just as cynical as you are but I don’t see anything wrong in having a little humorous fun with the perils of America. Racism, sexism, elitism and homophobia are all alive and well and I think you captured that in this piece. I might be mistaken but when you take the fact that aside from Michigan, Duke and UVA the top law schools are all in cities (Boston, NY, San Francisco and Chicago) then taking a clerkship in the middle of nowhere might be a bit shocking and you have to be prepared for the reality. Although I do believe your column went to the extremes of bottling up every single stereotype about “Nowhereland” in a single post as if this exists everywhere, evenly across the vast-lands. Unlike the rest of your audience I didn’t take it to mean that everywhere you went this would be what you would find but rather that you were bound to small some small part of what you said everywhere you went.
In other words, if I went to Tulsa maybe I would find a performing arts center but perhaps I’d also find a 40 acre parking lot and if I went to Wichita maybe I’d find an independent theater but the only place to eat in town might be TGIFriday’s. But no matter where you go you’re bound to find a little of this because this is just the reality of the land we live in.
I, for one, will be following your blog from now on.
[…] One Will Meyerhofer presents a “scrupulously non-partisan” report (HT: Steve Sailer) on “the frightful wasteland situated between the civilized portions of our […]
Heh. I sense something of the Bill Bryson here. Excellent piece. Haters gonna hate. And also misunderstand satire.