Archive for June, 2017

upsidedownhouseWe all know lawyers are pleasers. Everyone knows that. The weird thing is how it doesn’t feel that way from the inside. When you are a lawyer, and a pleaser, you don’t think you’re a pleaser – it seems more like you’re the only conscientious person in the world. You are the one who shows up on time, sits in the first row and hands your homework in on schedule, always perfect. Other people don’t, and that’s annoying. Thus begins a typical lawyer pet peeve – that other people never live up to their obligations. Stretch that out to the extreme, and you wind up doing a job where you bill 3,000 hours a year, just to set a good example for everyone else.

The odd thing is that lawyers simultaneously manage to feel a bit like imposters even as they’re pleasing, because pleasing isn’t the same thing as achieving. Achieving is an objective fact – you have accomplished something useful, good, of value. Pleasing just means you’ve convinced someone else that you’ve given them what they wanted, which might involve little more than smoke, mirrors and billable hours.

Lawyers are good at working hard, just like they’re good at racking up grades in school, which amounts to pleasing teachers. But hard work and good grades in school don’t mean you can play saxophone or or paint a portrait or write a gripping novel. It doesn’t mean you can design a computer or cure cancer either, especially since lawyers tend not to be much good at science and math (if you were any good at that stuff, you’ve have gone to med school and really pleased your parents.) Even if you are a lawyer good at science or math, it’s unlikely you’re designing computers or curing cancer because you’re probably an IP lawyer, who fled the lab bench for “money and prestige” (the magical lawyer incantation.) It’s a small wonder “imposter syndrome” thrives among lawyers. Don’t think you fooled me. We both know you aren’t really that good – you just run around trying to please everybody to distract them from the sense of defectiveness that haunts you, keeps you dancing so it won’t become obvious you’ve no idea what you want to do with your life. Everyone else seems to have somehow figured out what they want to do with theirs. Except lawyers.

So who do lawyers seek to please? Lots of folks. Pretty much everyone, except themselves.


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2d274907839718-sally-field-oscar-1985-speech-today-150217_27422441b72ca02103b8ba97bd2931d4I love prizes. Everyone loves prizes. Who doesn’t love winning a prize?

So…I am deeply thrilled (and delighted) to announce that this very blog (my blog!) The People’s Therapist, has just been named a top mental health blog of 2017 by OnlineCounselingPrograms.com.

So far, no statuette (although I’m clinging to the hope one might arrive in the mail.) But hey, it’s recognition, and I like recognition.

Here’s the list of winning blogs (there are thirteen, and they’re listed alphabetically, so yes, I’m down there near the bottom, but that in no way reflects my comparative grandeur.)  And yes, of course I urge you to take a peek at those other, dear little lesser blogs when you get the downtime.  Because I’m gracious like that.  Big-hearted.  Classy.

Anyway, here’s a nice long, special interview with moi-self, talking all about being The People’s Therapist, writing The People’s Therapist and reflecting the awesome glory of The People’s Therapist.  Please enjoy.

I want to thank Lauren Delapenha, and everyone at OnlineCounselingPrograms.com, as well as the lovely and talented rapscallions at AboveThelaw.com.  But most of all (he says, barely containing his emotion) I want to thank you, my fans.

I love you.  And now, choking back sobs, I’ll step (with immense dignity) offstage as the sound of the orchestra swells in the background.


Please check out The People’s Therapist’s legendary best-seller about the sad state of the legal profession: Way Worse Than Being a Dentist: The Lawyer’s Quest for Meaning

And now there’s a new Sequel: Still Way Worse Than Being a Dentist: (The Sequel)

My first book is an unusual (and useful) introduction to the concepts underlying psychotherapy:Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy

I’ve also written a comic novel about a psychotherapist who falls

in love with a blue alien from outer space. I guarantee pure reading pleasure: Bad Therapist: A Romance

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